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My dear readers of this blog,
Wish you a very happy new year.

As per my usual practice, I would like to do a post looking back at my year and also looking ahead. In short, I have had a reasonably good year.

I would like to add my notes to this, but another day another time.
Drama

For the last few days, if there were two topics everyone talked was that how drastically different it is going to get when 1.undergrads appear..40k people suddenly appear and jam the traffic, eateries, bus etc.
2.winter appears. apparently this year, winter hasn’t arrived so far, unusually. I had few sweaty days and these seem to be the hottest days of the year. While I enjoyed the weather and clear skies, everyone disappoints and scares me by talking about winter. So I am now bit scared rather than enthusiastic about the advent of winter and snow.

The first one has happened today and how.

And today was cold compared to all these days.

**
I had been to two university campuses earlier, and hence the campus hasn’t excited or overwhelmed me to as much an extent it should have.From back home, when I am asked the question, how is the campus I usually answer with an ok. But the campus is actually quite good. It feels so much like a park. As I mentioned before, I can’t still digest the fact that I am going to study here..

**
There were some team building activities. And again, they were quite awesome. But it wasn’t as overwhelming to me to that an extent that it should have been, perhaps for the reason that I was exposed to them earlier during our team building outings in corporate settings and most recently - in theater. In YT almost every activity we did was immense fun with a learning aspect and team building activity lesson built along with it.

**
People here hate cloths. I feel over dressed with a full arm shirt and jeans.
Well, it is no surprise to me that people here are comfortable with as much less weight on their bodies, but am looking forward to their ability to continue the same during winter.

**
Penn State may not be the best university out there, but certainly the most popular(due to the football). With 400000 alumni network, there should be a proud Penn Stater in any which company or in any which distant relative of any body.

**

When I was looking for schools, this was rated 7th among Supply Chain Management schools in US. Now it is No.1 (well, I don’t bother about the ratings as long as we are 1).

But this is restricted to our department. What is of more significance is that, when I was searching for schools, this university was number 2 party school in US. Now it is No. 1 party school.

After two weeks of somewhat busy orientation, today was the first day in class. Although the orientation had a pre-term accounting course and given a taste of the class, assignment and even a test to end it, today was still officially the first day in class.

Listening to the experience and diversity of the classmates, realizing the experiences of the teachers, I again wondered if I really was sitting in this class. It is strange that even after two weeks of this college, sometimes I still wonder if this is real. Looking back at the last two years when I was following this school, the admission process, the results, the other process of getting here - it still hasn’t sunk in that I am doing MBA and at US, and at Smeal.

I met few more 2nd years who are just back from an intern experience and few with job offers.

Talking about the class - I wish I could just concentrate on the subjects rather than bother about the career fairs just like I wish I could just browse internet at home rather than cook and clean !

After 6 years of working, it feels great to be back at school. I am fortunate and thankful for many, most importantly for my parents for this to be possible.

I met many Indians who are pursuing PhD here, and many straight out of BE..and I kept feeling jealous ! I heard myself saying ‘better late than never’. I drew consolations from some of the classmates who have more than 10 years work experience and the average seems to be around 5.

Yesterday and day before I met lot of Indians and Kannadigas(attended a Ganesha pooja function too!) ..and realized there are some opportunities to pursue my other interests like community service, running, theatre and even salsa. But I fear that it would be highly difficult to manage my time with my studies and all these interests. Plus I want to participate in so many activities that I fear biting more than I can chew. So am thinking twice before making commitments.

Last week has been a breeze. Meeting new people, understanding new ways etc etc. As usual, there is never enough time to write about all that I want to.

Why talk about last week, last few months were very busy. There were so many things going on in my mind that I was more often than not absent minded. I realized the importance and value of many things in life.

The todo list ever kept growing.

I closed some ends, some not in the way I would have wished to.

It was quite messy and hurried at the end, with mounting confusions and uncertainties. I wish I had better sanity and patience at many circumstances.

And am here, State College. I am possibly going through another transition in life, the only thing that continues is that I will continue to observe and understand people.

Wish I could jot down regular thoughts and updates.

Today is my last working at office. I will be back to student life.

Since almost my early career, I have sent a good morning quote on every day I went to work, just before I started working. I have written about them earlier here.

I am putting an end to it now. (May be temporary, may not be temporary). So I sent a mail explaining the same and attached a FAQ about my transition. As it makes a good read, am copying it here with some improvements.

Frequently asked questions and answers or anticipated conversations …

1. Where are you going?
To pursue MBA
2. Where
Smeal College of Business
3. Where
US
4. Where
Pennsylvania (Technically to be accurate, in University Park which is a small municipality within a borough called State College (which is nicknamed as “Happy valley”) which is in Centre County, which is in Pennsylvania state…well, never mind !)
5. Which university
Penn state university
6. (Not so frequent) Wharton?
(blushing)…well..no not University of Penn, but Penn State University …
7. Full time?
Yes
8. 2 years?
Yes (actually 21 months ..)
9. Wow… how come suddenly planned ?
Hmm….

10. No clue at all..you didn’t tell me ?
You didn’t ask me .. ! [But actually, I have told anyone and everyone I have met or those who interacted with me, in last few months.]

How did you get admission.. ? Did you write exam ?
It is a long process from planning Gmat to final acceptance.

How much did you score in Gmat ?
Gmat score alone does not help, it is a holistic evaluation of the entire application. [See, I am already ready to speak in managerial lingo – ambiguous yet meaningful.]

11. When did you plan and how did you go about selecting college etc…
Mail me if you really are interested to know/ thinking on similar lines.
Plan was there from long time..but nothing concrete. Motivation level changed due to various reasons. Finally, something worked out at the fag end. Nothing great to talk about, but if you really want to know the best way to do it, mail me.

Basically, my outline of this long journey was like this comprising of close to 2 years..
mba.com - gmat – switch off- wake up- toefl - school selection –switch off – wake up- essays - deadlines –reject- change of schools – essays - deadlines –apply-apply-apply- crossing finger - reject - reject- reject-school selection- apply - apply - reject - admit –apply-apply-apply-reject – reject - beg borrow money - loan - documents – accept the admission - resignation -visa – scholarship- air ticket - relieving

12. What have done differently that no one else would have done?
Many things…for one, I sent a long mail with a gist “Get lost, you didn’t deserve me..watch out for me” to the adcom of an university after they took long time and then rejected me ..

13. What ? Are you crazy ?
Hmm..

14. When are you traveling?
August 5th

15. Can we meet over a cup of coffee/ for lunch/ for dinner / for breakfast / for a date/ for beer?
Sure! I will be happy to – provided you take care of the bill and provided I am free/ available at your convenient time. [Hope questions from this FAQ are not repeated!]

16. Can I come to airport to see you off?
Sure ! Provided you are going to present send-off gifts!
17. What gifts are you looking at
Well anything ! wrist watch, sunglasses, your unspent dollars, books, my photos with you, the money you have to return to me ..anything.

18. Direct flight ? Which flight ?
No. Am going by Luftansa to Philadelphia via Frankfurt. From Phi to State college I catch US Airways (Yes, our university town has an airport too! And its own postal code too! How cool is that )

19. Finished shopping ? What is the weight allowed ?
Shopping going on. Weight - 23*2. I have some space left for your gifts.

20. When do the classes start
August 24th, but mandatory orientation from August 9th

21. Resigning the job ?
Yes, resigned.

22. When are you getting relieved?
July 20th hopefully.

23. Stay and all there?
An apartment has been booked, on sharing basis with 2 other guys.

24. Any friends there? Contacted anyone?
No. Yes.

25. You know cooking? What will you do there?
No. Hmm…Let me see.

26. Will you put on weight ?
Hmm..don’t know..

You will.
Hmm

27. Will you go running, salsa, theatre, aerobics, gym, swimming, there too ?
Hmm..don’t know.

You will not.
Hmm

28. Why MBA?
Please…I have heard this question and answered this lot of times…

29. Which concentration/branch/major/area/etc
Not sure now…general management…entrepreneurship..but let me see. Specialization is to be taken in 2nd year.. College is famous (6th ranked in US) for Supply Chain Management..so hoping opportunities will be better in that area.
30. Will you work in US? Will you settle in US? Will you not come back to India ?
Hmm…nothing decided as of now.. I take things as I go by.. flexible plans. Let me see how things work out.
31. When will you marry?
Hmm…nothing decided as of now.. I take things as I go by.. flexible plans. Let me see how things work out. [Perhaps you can help if you come across a rich, ready-to-marry girl who is looking for a MBA to manage her finances – and is ready to help me repay my loan]
32. What is the cost /expenses?
Hmm… Mail me if you want to fund a good boy’s education. Your money will be returned with attractive interests!

33. How are you arranging it ?
Bank loan..rest savings..rest beg borrow from family and friends…so it includes you. Mail me if you want to donate for a good cause.

34. Which bank ? How much ? What is the rate of interest ?
SBM. 20 lakh (maximum possible!). 13.25 (floating)

35. How will you repay it ? Is it not huge amount? Are you not taking a risk ?
Hmm…[philosophical tone] What is huge….what is not… no body can take away money while going …
[or]
[diplomatic tone] It all depends on priority.
[or]
[practical tone]
Hmm…nothing decided as of now.. I take things as I go by.. flexible plans. Let me see how things work out. There is internship…there is a possibility of scholarship…there is a hope of job that may help me repay loan pretty soon. Let me see. It’s a long journey I am starting.
[or]
[even more practical but pessimistic tone]
If nothing works out, I have backup.

36. That is a huge amount of money you are spending on MBA. If I had that money – I would have [bought a 2 bedroom apartment and settled down/ started my own company/ bought diamond jewellery / went on world tour/ invested in stock and made lot of money ]
Hmm

37. You don’t need a MBA .. managers only talk some hi-funda ..throw around attitudes…it is others who get the real work done…don’t run behind money .. MBA will just be a fancy degree and does not teach you anything….people succeed even without MBA.
Hmm

Dhirubhai Ambani did not have MBA ..
But his sons have.

What do you mean ?
Hmm..

38. The Hmms as replies are bad… you are proud.. You have ego, attitude..
Hmm..

39. How much money you need ..? I have some lakhs which I have not invested anywhere…
Now you are talking, mail me.

40. What if I can’t donate money ?
Give me “loan”

41. What if I don’t want to give you loan..or what if I want but I can’t , my money is all used up.
Well I have a scheme for everyone. Wish me. Pray for me. I want to try out this crazy theory called “intention- manifestation” which says if sufficient people think and pray strongly, it will happen. So wish me and pray for me - I get full scholarship next year. Pray for recession to end before my course ends. Pray for super paying job for me.

42. No, I will not do that for you..if that was true, I will pray for myself only, why should I pray for you ?
Hmm…

43. What will I get in return if I loan/fund ur education ?
If loan better than FD rate of interest…
If funds:
If you are boy/married girl/etc: Good karma and a preference in partnership in the company that is going to world-dominate.
If you are an unmarried girl: If we can work out something together, full ownership of that company to you.
if (parent of an unmarried girl)
{
How about an alliance to your girl with a charming young eligible bachelor – engineer turning MBA, programmer turning don’t-know-what. Also a blogger, marathon runner, theatre enthusiast, salsa dancer, thinker & a dreamer – all in one.
}
Ps: If I convinced you in this answer, may be MBA in marketing is my real forte.
Pps: Just to remind you, not related to the above, this mail has come with photo attachments.

44. Are you excited about going back to school..?
Of course yes.. But bit scared about hectic schedule too.

45. Are you happy to leave the job?
Hell yes..as if you didn’t know the answer to it. I never thought I would say this – but yes, I am not going to miss coding or technical work.

46. Why did you chose US…there is recession…there is H1B problem.. Europe/Singapore/Manila/Switzerland/Ethiopia were better.
Well… I attempted at other places too. But competition is quite high[and particularly this year as Murphy chalked out things personally for me] and I am left with best option. I didn’t have patience to wait or to retry.

But somehow I feel Smeal was pre-defined to be my destination. I have read about it even before I planned gmat. [There is a dancethon event, how cool is that !] Been reading their updates. Even if all other schools I had shortlisted kept changing, Smeal always remained on the list. This is the only school I applied neatly within planned deadline. And everything about it went smooth – no waiting for results, no major disappointments , no confusions or hassles in the process.

47. What were the other problems you faced ?
Recession, which has resulted in 1. increased number of applicants 2.reduced funding and some universities cancelled loans to international students.

48. Will you not miss home…mom’s food. ..country…. parents… friends… food… climate… people
Hmmm

49. Masalapuri, masala dosa, tours, get-togethers, attending marriages, Basavanagudi, jayanagar, rangashankara,
Pls don’t make it tough for me.

50. How can we keep in touch with you ?
Gmail/gtalk and my blog. [blog, twitter, orkut, facebook, you name it]

51. Why are you stopping the GM mails? You were sending from your personal id anyways.
Hmm …

52. This is not fair, you never told us the supposed pre-condition that we were supposed to keep in touch with you or tell our updates in response to your mails or in order to continue to receive your gm mails ..you selfish fellow..
Hmm..

53. Don’t act as if it was a big effort ..
Hmm… You miss the point.

54. Will you not send Good morning mails at all… will miss your mails …

I was earlier than normal days that day. I wonder what had made me go early there. There is a freshness in the atmosphere and the cool breeze only increased the pleasantness. I am little happier for whatsoever reason. Oh! There she comes. Looking beautiful in that probably new dress. Is that a miracle ? I remember now that I had woken up after a dream and she was certainly in the dream. And something in my dream had made me come earlier today. Is it real ?

We smile to each other. No one has come yet. She is comfortable at my presence. Did I really wake up or this is the continuation of dream ?If it is a dream, why is it a dream ? We walk upstairs as if we realised what exactly we need to do. In the terrace, coffee is served and we sit opposite to each other. We sip hot coffee while the cool breeze brushes our faces. Is there an other heaven?

I am afraid if she can hear my heartbeats. Today is the day. Now is the time. I have to say. It would be a foolish thing to start the conversation. I am not even sure whether my voice reaches her properly. Let me warm up.

“What is your plan for the weekend ? “

This was one of my earlier writing attempts. For some reason, I still like my attempts of those times. Those were the times, writers-block never hit me. I felt then I could churn up many snippets like these. However to this day, I am not sure if they were interesting to the readers - these were either lost in the now dead hard disk or held private in drafts.

The above one has been submitted to Yt contest and I wish to see your endings. Submit your endings to the email yteditors@gmail.com :

What happens next? How does the conversation go? What is the reply? Get your grey cells cracking and complete the story in not more than 250 words and give it ANY ending you desire.

As a bonus, you get to suggest the title of the story too. Who knows this may be your chance to become a famous writer. Send your entries to yteditors@gmail.com and win exciting prizes. Hurry! Last date 30th July, 2009.

Note: All entries must be original, accompanied by your full name, E-mail id and contact number.

Oh yeah, my ending of the story would be posted on this blog after the contest is over.

Ok, I couldn’t keep up the blog frequency I wanted to and that I declared earlier. Anyways, just a quick post.

I had joined Yt and there is still a lot to talk about the experience for the brief stint I had there with the workshop and later rehearsals. As usual, I regret not having enough time and will to document nicely on this blog. More than theater/acting perspective, I feel I gained quite a bit from personal perspective. I’ll probably elaborate some other time, but in brief - if you are wasting your weekends, if you want to understand yourself or the world little more, do attend their workshop..it is immense fun.

Well, this post is about the Yt newsletter to which I was supposed to have contributed a lot, for being in the editorial team, but as it goes, my contribution is minimal. However, request you to visit the site and explore the contents and give feedback. Don’t forget to send an entry to “complete the story” contest.

I want …I want to write blog posts recording hundred and one musings and thoughts in my mind..I want to write about my dreams (both night and grand day dreams)..I want to write stories..if possible a novel ..I want to ..

I want to read those nice blogs..I want to read important news so that I can talk authoritatively based on facts rather than about my opinions and views..want to read and understand economics and politics and history .. add a word ‘world’ behind each of the above.. I want to read those umpteen books I can have access to..those comics I never read..want to read children novels, fiction, science fiction, philosophy and those odd romance novels ..

I want to watch all movies possible..and if possible write reviews there by improving my command or understanding..listen to all songs possible..watch all the plays possible..

I want to spend great time meeting all my friends..want to talk away the time..want to spend quality time with family..

Want to travel a lot… travel unusual places..villages..remote corners of Karnataka/India as well as want to visit exotic places of the world..visit all continents..visit all the wonders of the world..explore Europe..stay for some time in some of the places so that I really understand and experience the culture rather than just visit-smile-take a photo as a tourist..possibly own an island..

Want to learn some art forms…like theater..film making..something other individualistic..want to learn some fighting techniques..

Want to have alternate sources of money that I am not forced to work, but yet I work due to the sheer love of doing something ..making some difference to society by my work..and some how incorporate my some other wishes as a part of work rather than having to live two lives..

Want to live a long healthy and wealthy life and also having well wishers and close family around me always..

Want to make people smile at me whole heartedly..and cherish my presence and company…and leave behind cherishable memories…

**
There are only 24 hours a day.And __ years. And I can be present at only one place at a time and do only one thing at a time.

Here is to my 29*. Damn.

*: Belated, reason should be obvious by now.

This is the third in ThrowWordsGetFiction format. I asked cousin to give me 5 words and I tried to spin a small story around it. To keep the readers curious, I ask you to identify the words

As usual comments are welcome and appreciated. Also, what name would you suggest to the story ?
__
The usual day of Borak was to lead sheep up the hill for grazing, or to the fields at its bottom, to sleep under the shades of a tree by keeping his pet sheep with him. Drink water at a near by pond, and if he packed and carried food for that day eat it. Most days, it is only water that quenched his hunger too. At dusk, his important task was to count the number of sheep. If they matched the morning count, he is quite relieved. Else, it is the search across the fields and the hill, the thought of the task itself was scarier.

His counting methods were simpler. He collects, in the morning, the number of stones as exactly as the number of sheep. So evening, he discards a stone for each sheep. These days, if only one stone is extra, he aborts the stone rather than reproving the search for the last sheep. The only problem, if it happens quite regularly, there is a chance his father might find out about it.

Some days would be different. Like the day when he met few children who were of his age, wearing all similar clothes, marched right across him and he stood amused. Where do all these people go together and why do they not have any herd behind them. From next day onwards he made a point to come to that spot right at that time, so that he could try to make sense out of it. Soon enough he learnt, they go to a place where they have lot of fun. But his father said that was untrue, and they were taken to be punished.

Some of those people were benevolent to him and gave their food to him. Those days he overslept. Often waking up from the nightmare of having lost more than one sheep. Those days he felt even more scared to return home than normal. His father was a drunkard who berated every action of Borak accusing him of making attempts to steal his clandestine belongings.

Stood besides the place where those children went to get punished was a rectory. Borak decided to follow the children that day and hid behind the rectory. He noticed later that there was nothing happening that remotely seemed like punishment except for an old man saying something loudly and other children repeating it. It didn’t seem like any fun.

He didn’t realize he had spent quite some time there, and along with it lost a few sheep too. More stones than the number of fingers were left extra. This horrified him. He searched for lost sheep till late, but found only one. He decided to part with his beloved sheep and made it a part of herd to be returned to father.
More agony was waiting at home. Not only his father beat him almost to death, accusing him of selling the extra sheep, the very act- selling the herd- which he was about to do.

On being woken up, Borak realized that his herd – along with his beloved sheep – and his father were missing. After crying half a day, Borak felt, his going to that place – where other kids assembled for punishment – was indeed a place of severe punishment. And his going there has definitely resulted in his punishment – what else could explain his current fate.
__
Words were Berate,Benevolent,Reprove,Clandestine,Rectory

This is the second in ThrowWordsGetFiction series. I asked cousin to give me 5 words and I tried to spin a small story around it. To keep the readers curious, I ask you to identify the words

As usual comments are welcome and appreciated. Also, what name would you suggest to the story ?
__
“Oh Sottu … come .. lets go there…I see a throng in the field” shouted Kitta on top of his voice over to his neighbour while keeping his eyes transfixed on the far field on an early morning. The early mornings for these kids, during this summer vacation, is the most exciting time of the day. Dads getting ready to office, mothers busy in kitchen, these kids are left to themselves – save the worry of homework for the later part of the day.

While most of their classmates preferred to wake up late, these two guys, as if competing with each other’s energy and enthusiasm, wake up early and find new ways to entertain themselves – be it a beach hockey played with a cricket bat, or a stroll to a nearby police station. Yes, police station – a place where any normal children would forbid themselves from going, these kids were brave enough to go near it. They overheard the conversation, came back home and enacted the same, often tried to find a solution by one acting as a police and the other as another party in the case.

Summer vacation, was perhaps the busiest time for these two kids. Often they built a castle from the empty matchstick boxes and cigarratte boxes they collected through out the year or sometimes just spent entire time reading a book together and enacting the story by themselves. Their passion and curiosity was uniform in fields ranging from science to astronomy to history to mythology.

Sottu, who was hurriedly brushing his tooth, swallowed half of it in a hurry and washed his mouth and ran hurriedly to mother asking her for a pair of dress. She was preparing pooris – his favorite breakfast. While watching her prepare, he also noticed, her work carefully. She was preparing the round shaped objects from the flour. In between she was stirring the delicious-by-smell sagu by left hand while using the right to fry the already prepared ones. He was quite awe-struct at the rapport and speed of her eyes and hands.

Lost in the observation, he was again alerted by the shout of Kitta, who was now shouting on the top of his voice and in absolute hurry. “If we don’t run now, we can’t see what others are already seeing… come fast, this is my last call for you, I am going otherwise.” Sottu quickly responded “WAIT, only a second”, without waiting for his mother to give him clothes, he put on yesterday’s and ran outside the house, neglecting his mothers question “When are you returning?”

Both ran towards the field where more people were joining every minute, this usually happens during an accident scene. But this was no highway, it was a big playing ground. Both the kids squeezed in between the people, shoved and managed to go to the front of the gathering. They were astonished by the sight ! It was a dead huge bird and not known to alive in this era. Sottu said “Oh my !! Was it hiding in our town ?” Kitta replied “This bird has been surely obsolescent..probably from dinosaur era”. Both were, like other people there, not stunned by only its gigantic size, but more about the mystery behind its finding in that field now.

While Kitta looked at the sky for some clues, Sottu looked at the lorry that stood at the corner of the field. The lorry looked dysfunctional and aborted. It surely wasn’t there previous day, recalled Sottu. He grabbed Kitta and pointed him towards the lorry suspiciously. They tried to look for any other hints at the spot. On finding more crowd and camera men coming to the spot, they both deserted and headed towards home – discussing the possibilities of that bird being there.

That night, Kitta said Sottu, let’s keep a watch on the lorry. Sottu had other star gazing plans, but that could be put off to some other day, he thought. They both went and hid themselves at a considerable distance for long time in the night. Nothing happened, they returned home with mosquito bites. Sottu suggested they could watch the lorry from home using the telescope he was hoping to use for star gazing. For next few nights they watched the lorry in the night, while searching for clues about the mystery in the day. They visited local library to collect the information about the bird, they tried to obtain the lorry registration information and also learnt how the bird was being moved out of the city to a museum in the capital city.

After nights of result less watching in night, in addition to the scoldings by their parents, they finally decided to try one last night. That day, the bird was moved out of the city. And finally some people came to take the lorry. Sottu and Kitta jumped out of house and followed those guys.

Rest, as they say is, history. The local lads had become world famous in the small town, thanks to the front page city news paper article “Kids help bust a smuggling racket in town”
**

Few lunch break after the school re-opened were filled with sessions of question and answers by their classmates. And their explanation of the story in animated style. “That night …we were sure some one would come and take away the lorry..we knew it.” “They pushed the lorry till some distance ..so that the sound of it does not disturb ..when they started it, we both jumped into it.” “It went for a long distance..we tried hard to keep us awake. Finally it stopped and we got down and hid behind the bushes…..”

In such detail their narration went. The newspaper article had put it briefly thus:
“Two kids who were suspicious of a lorry parked in the field for few days, decided to follow it. They found that that lorry was one of the lorries used to smuggle various illegal goods out of the city. They were waiting for this day when the entire police was diverted to the transport of the huge bird, which was a fake replica these smugglers created and planted in the heart of the city few days ago.”

Sottu and Kitta waited for their next vacation adventure !
___
The words were : obsolescent, throng ,rapport,passion,forbid

This is one of the plays I kept hearing about but couldn’t watch it before. Coming from B Jayashri’s team, this is one of those “typical” plays — from which the Indian movies can be said to have originated from — complete with actors singing, drama punctuated by songs/dances and sometimes with a laughter sidetrack.

The story is about a prince who opposes his marriage until he falls for a beautiful woman, Sadarame. Sadarame’s father & grandfather are cunning misers and demand to be crowned in exchange for the daughter’s wedding. King, very eager to get his son married, accepts to this demand. Sadarame and her husband, wander away to another province and find it difficult to survive having exhausted the money.
Sadarame’s husband approaches the prince of the land, who is lusty and lures Sadarame for marriage. She hatches a plan for delaying marriage and plans to escape with husband. Again, a thief overhears her plan and acts as her husband and takes her away and ask her to marry him. She again manages to escape from the thief and lands in another state, and remains impersonated as a man. She, having survived a challenge qualifies to marry the princess of the state. She discloses her true self to the princess, yet remains king until she finds her husband back. After which all three stay together (yeah !), and the cheats get punished.

Main plot as described above at times looked like a thin sketch, it was about other parts – often the side track, that evoked much laughter. For example, of course the masterly act of the thief by B Jayashri herself is priceless – her energy level, her lung power, her singing – and that of a male thief’s make-up was wonderful. And then there was a drunkard singing and mouthing dialogs – his acting was brilliant. The song sequences – the actors singing themselves with simple lyrics – were though good (esp by the hero), but it eloborated too much than required at places. Likewise a scene of bargaining and cheating by Sadarame’s father went on and on. Also I could not follow many Telugu dialogs spoken by him. But Dingri Nagaraj was fantastic and had the audience split with his timings and humour. I also felt, may be this play required more than 2 hours of time and they did considerable editing – especially the challenge which Sadarame wins, was just told in words and had no scene to it and looked abrupt. It reminded me of the TV channels chopping the scenes to accommodate advertisements. Wondered why there was no character introduction at the end of the play. Finally a mention has to be made about the colorful and eloborate stage preparation mostly with the apt giant screens.

Overall: As the pamphlet suggested, the play displayed “navrasas”, the humour being very strong. As such it was an enjoyable experience. The story let me down, but the performances were superlative.

Suddenly I realized/recalled that the format - ThrowWordsGetFiction I talked about, was there - with poem instead - in one of my most favorite movies Before Sunrise. I don’t remember how many times I have watched this movie - either in entirety or some scenes, but it continues to give an unique good feeling about the movie. Can’t describe ‘what’ about it, but it ticks. Was active reader of the yahoo group for sometime..

I cherish both travel (especially train or bus travel, esp relaxed ) and company and talking a lot and of course - traveling in Europe is a long time dream .. the concept of hitting wavelength with a stranger and roaming around the streets carelessly (not having particular checklist of places to visit) itself sounds like a fairytale, no wonder I like the movie..

Will talk about the movie and its sequel ( which I didn’t like as much as I did the former) some other time. Right now the video : Before that, just one more point - if the recession takes away my job, I guess all I need is to find a lake..and hang around there..and ask the strangers - “don’t give me money, give me 5 words .. I will write a story, if you like it … ” Heh ! I may not be immensely talented writer, but do come and encourage me
Now enjoy the clip.. Milkshake !

Daydream delusion
Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and milkshakes
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don’t want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we’re going
Launched in life
Like branches in the river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I’ll carry you. You’ll carry me
That’s how it could be
Don’t you know me?
Don’t you know me by now?

AuroraWonders, during a chat asked few words so that she writes something around them or using them. I had given 3 words. She has asked for 5 words from C too.

I realized it is similar to the Playback_Theatre concept I had watched during the play “All you need is love” where the audience throw sentences/story and actors act.

While C is yet to come up with her version of story, this is my attempt to create a flash fiction, using those words. It would be nice if Aurorawonders and C each could dish out something

Readers, can you guess the words ?

I am using a fancy tag - ThrowWordsGetFiction as I intend to do few more of these.

Since this is my first attempt to “create” something, your comments are welcome and are appreciated.
___
Meetu sat there, alone in the corner of the pub. It was unusual for a pretty young woman to be sitting alone in a crowded pub in this town. But everyone was busy with their, umm.. drinks. Few couples did a spirited jig, probably at the celebration of one of their engagement, and got tired and sat to sip second round of drink. Pub, like temple, is one of the few places where one gets to see happy and sad people at the same time. Some cheering the beer, some reclusive, like Meetu.

Enter, Novian, an optimist by other name. “Optimism, is often a result of helplessness.”, his friend Jignesh usually taunts him, but he knows better. Money for him is a game – he loses some, he wins some. Unlike hearts, which he always wins. Novian, intended to party tonight with a gang of his friends, who usually tag on to him only due to the weight of his pocket and leave him soon after that weight transforms into their stomachs’ weight, but at the last minute decided to be lonely and dropped into this new place. He had never been to this pub, not even during his pub hopping session in April – usually accompanied by girlfriend hopping session – by mutual consent.

Novian noticed Meetu. “What a serendipity !” he thought to himself. He could make no mistake – this was the lady who was seated in front of him during his previous visit to Race Course. He had lost quite an hefty amount of money that day in horse race and yet he realized he hadn’t drowned himself in a melancholy that day. It was quite unusual. He had tried his best resources to locate this girl and today he finds her just like that. Never to believe in stars, he thanked his that time. Beliefs last only till next change !

As is natural, he progressed towards her. He probably had misread her just like a driver in the dark miscalculates the danger when the on coming lorry has only one light on. Yet, he approached her – if not to floor her right away, he felt confident to woo her over the time.

To his surprise, she knew him. She talked to him easily. When he tried to know her reason for lonely visit to pub with a painful look, she opened up all too easily. Said, she feels cheated. Cheated by boy friend, cheated by parents and by colleagues at work. His face turned pale and struck with horror and disbelief as if he has just seen the Tsunami approaching, when she said her boy friend was Jignesh. His very friend, who had ‘helped’ him in searching her, but didn’t even let him know ? That thought drifted Novian to his own world, her words barely falling on his ears but getting lost in the noise around. Today Novian may have deserted his friends, but his friend had him, long back.

He left the place silently. Tomorrow is another horse race. “Optimism is…” as his once- friend Jignesh used to say.
___
Notes:
1. I wanted to keep the story very, very short. Lack of time.
2. Had to discard an ending I first wrote- while trying hard to keep from sleeping, as it was too abruptly off-the-cliff.
3. What would be the title you would have given ?
4. If you guessed the words good, let me know that you did. Otherwise here are the words – Serendipity, Melancholy, Party, Horse Race, Reclusive, Tsunami,April, Lorry.
5. This is shockingly similar to what I had written years ago, and I realized after I wrote this. That way my next one is much different (It’s already written!). Stay tuned.
6. No, this isn’t autobiographical or anything related to anyone I know. Heh! Trust me, real stories I know sound even more unreal.
7. Also, this isn’t reflective of my mood or anything. Heh!
8. Any comments, ANY, are welcome.

A friend said, during chat on im

As I see, luck can take you only till a point

and continued,

after that, it is all again luck.

Funnily painful. Or painfully funny.

**
These days, my biggest problem is to communicate and clarify to others, that I am not negative (pessimist) and at the same time, I am not a positive person (optimist) - I am (or at least want to be) at the middle ground. And that I am comfortable being there..and that I am quite sure that my mentality does not affect any outcome, but everyone opposes me.

But the problem is at times I get myself confused what I am.

Am I positive just to console myself and just because it is good to be so ?

**

It is bad already that one has to justify himself..but it is worse, when I fail in that..

The side effect is a conclusion which is quite as useless as it could get - hopelessness is not the worst pain…it is helplessness.

**
Am I really as strong as I think I am..or as much as I wish..or as much as I come across..or as much as I try to show ?

**

Does it really matter .. to be strong from outside when I realize that is not me from inside.. to be positive on the outlook when I realize deep within that many things don’t make sense..
[Including the consolations generously offered that again rely on .. hope, future ... the shallow ones which the offerers too realize does not make sense when offered back when they go through a lean phase. I feel guilty for being evil in returning their favours and smiling under nose to have made them realize how shallow their words were..yes I am an evil guy, sometimes.. ]

Does it really matter that I laugh..and make others laugh..when all I want to do is cry out loud standing atop a hill till I get tired and watch the sunset alone and fall asleep counting the stars ?

Attakalari Biennial International Dance, followed by Bengaluru Habba

Iron Maiden, Anoushka Shankar, Pankaj Udhas in palace grounds on consecutive weekends.. wow.

So diverse and vibrant ! Bangalore, currently, is as high as it could get wrt to cultural events I guess.

For details, see these posts : Marathon, Running

“All you need is love” was the play presented by “Yours Truly theatre” on Sunday Feb 22nd at Nayana auditorium. There were two shows of the same - yet since this is an interactive theatre in playback format, each show is unique. In playback format, to put briefly, the input from audience is enacted on the stage. I was quite curious to see this happening and my reaction is mixed.

There were multiple parts to the show - the first one being, what they called, “fluids”. Answers to questions like “what does love mean to you”, “what would happen if there was only love”, were collected from audience and the actors on stage enacted a depiction of it. This happened for few rounds. What was interesting in this was in the way the actors enacted the meanings - it could be straight forward interpretation, or by adding a touch of humour, or by a means of sarcasm. It made me realize there were many ways of looking at same thing and I feel if ..if I can creatively imagine on the similar lines, my gazing-out-of-window-during-busy-traffic-hours could get just a little more engaging and colorful.

There was a round of fluid for the audience reactions to the show…which was a nice touch.

Overall some of the interpretations were not convincing to me..or may be it is just me, I can’t take all ! But some others were apt. And there were many hilarious moments - especially when we are aware that it is impromptu show - the timing and situational comedy was good. As an audience later said, the process and in turn the actors seem to be very intelligent.

The second part was about depiction of a conflict. A deep conflict, for eg, in the second show an audience mentioned “Is love enough for marriage, should one marry at all, or isn’t there a life beyond that” as a conflict. It was a conflict to me few months ago and I found an answer - two infact , one the ideal and second the practical - and it ceased to be a conflict to me. However,in the show, it was a much welcome conflict to ponder upon rather than other futile conflicts that could have come up. Conflicts too, were enacted by three pairs in their own way and the audience-whose conflict was selected- was given a chance to choose which of the three pairs came close to what he/she had in mind. It must have been an unique and strange satisfaction to see the demons/thought of the mind take the form of words and interpretations and en-act on the stage.

The third part was, the actual story being enacted on stage. For this, one of the audience was asked to narrate their story and the actors will act the story in a dramatic way on the stage. The story in the first show was about a job-seeker being helped with a bus ticket by a stranger was not strong on the plot - as per me(because personally, have been through very strong emotions and turmoil…) The emotions or the story wasn’t as profound as the second show’s story. However, the actors did a nice job of highlighting the north-south divide which was just an after thought in the story but it took good shape in the play.

(However as an aside, those who complain about the north-south divide troubling them in Bangalore - in my Bengaluru which embraces everyone without complaining - should really go to Chennai(I did live there, to support my claim) - as the character does go, in this story. Ironically, that character must have realized what a comfortable place Bangalore is, compared to Chennai; I wished this could come out in the play - but it was out of context I guess.)

Comparatively the second story,that of a grandson who hated his grandfather for his discipline while he was alive; but after reading his diary realizes how much care and love his grandfather really had towards him; the soft heart he had beneath the hard outlook. This plot was profound and had a depth of substance; and the actors did superb justice to it.

As is evident, the half the strength of part of the show - for a viewer - lies in the story. If the story is quite substantial - as it was in the second show than the first - the play results in an experience to remember. More the depth-> little more the duration of the play->better the engagement with the audience and a better experience/memory. The co-ordination, flow (the speed), energy and performance as a whole - with acting and music - was quite an entertaining and engaging experience. The only grouse is, this format requires a good story from the audience.

That said, the joy to see one’s story on stage, in full colour and music, must be overwhelming ! Especially to a person like me - I see my story or can relate to an incident or a personality in most of the movies;either to me or to a person I know. Again I was silent for most part of the audience interaction - except for one or two sound bites - otherwise just trying to capture and dissect; to assimilate and analyse the audience’ thoughts and beliefs. But one day, some day.. I will have a story - a grand one.

Uff, the perils of an interactive theatre. And aah, the joys of the same.

International Contemporary dance festival - attakkalari, happened in Bangalore for last 10 days, spread over at different venues. I happened to watch 2 of them, a briefing of the same follows.
Cosmic dance of Shiva
The first one was “Cosmic dance of Shiva”. Shiva, as is known to all, is a king of dances – Nataraja. And his “tandava nrutya” – rudra tandava to be specific- is as full of aggressiveness and passion as it could get. As wikipedia says,

The dance is a pictorial allegory of the five principal manifestations of eternal energy:
‘Shrishti’ - creation, evolution
‘Sthiti’ - preservation, support
‘Samhara’ - destruction, evolution
‘Tirobhava’ - illusion
‘Anugraha’ - release, emancipation, grace
Thus Tandava symbolizes the cosmic cycles of creation and destruction, as well as the daily rhythm of birth and death.

I have always enjoyed the (almost same) music and the dance in mythological scenes in movies or in tv. It is usually when Shiva gets angry, he breaks into a dance!

So, I was expecting to watch something on similar lines. But what I watched has stunned me. The performance, by “Samudra” , was visually beautiful and colorful due to the costumes and lighting. But the dance and music ( music was very varied) itself were even better. The rthythmic movements mostly showcasing different yogic postures (and probably different forms of dances ) were a visual treat. I did try to notice the happy and anger facial expressions but I could not relate the dance to any “sequence/event/meaning” – it was supposed to have a meaning which I came to know during post-show discussion.
However the show has motivated me to try Yoga, sometime.

Extended teenage Era…
This was a performance by Samir Akika, is about study of young artists that learn well but without a job - as per the description.

This was at Chowdiah memorial hall, where I wanted to attend a performance since - the time I went too early for a Evam show of FPS (which I could never watch it, alas) and returned. Its architecture and the environment itself is so arty that I feel good being there.

The show started with a lady instructing the audience about the “don’ts” in an ironical way and was funny. More impressing was her voice and speaking which was so musical and warm that I feel should be used for some philosophical discourse.

Once the performance started by one of the artists, other artists got busy with their work – tearing pages, using cardboard to build boxes or hang postures. The whole stage was their workplace and this went on for the entire show. This initially created a distraction or restless and informal happening on the stage, it slowly became a part of the performance and culminated in a wonderfully surprising way (see below).

The characters were an ensemble of different nationality or cutlure, but supposedly of same age except a small kid – who was thoroughly cute and unbelievable at times. I not only doubted if such small kid could do anything on being told, but to imagine him to rehearse or to do anything on time was beyond my imagination. Probably the impromptu environment could have helped, where he could do anything and still it looks like a part of the performance, but not to take away any credit from him – he did dance quite spectacularly for his age and shouted beats perfectly.

Rest of the characters, each an expert in dance – I am not sure if I could call it dance at all , because it included many things – at one point I wondered if they were straight out of a circus company for they performed gymnastics. Other times too, it was an intense – and sometimes shocking – body movements and jumping around, but there were well choreographed chorus dancing too. Even in the most unconventional movements, what were clearly visible were energy and the beautiful synchronization – a cursor to the amount of extra-ordinary effort that must have gone into the practice – they later said they stayed as a family for 2 months – yet 2 months is not much for the kind of show they put.

I enjoyed the dance and the music, though I didn’t relate it to the narrative or the main plot .. I could realize it was either an angst put out in dance or a celebration. The plot in general moved with childhood memories – the association with pets, the growing up – a superb recital of A for __ to Z for __ with totally unconventional words – probably poking fun at the conventional A for Apple stuff, was funny. The “follow rules” for a slightly grown up kid where parents start suggesting the right ways to sit, stand, walk, even about cleanliness – was humourosly-symbolically represented by a person who learns to sit and eat. Identity crisis was presented as a game (like 20questions). There was a slight touch upon –fear and love – two prominent emotions that suddenly get highlighted(uh,blame on hormones) in pre-teen or teenage. A monologue that followed, which tried to exemplify the beauty of solitude – am sure was a subtle satire on love failure , will be very disappointed if I am wrong. Except that I liked that I got to hear to my favorite concepts - time is important, lost time is gone forever, time is the most precious gift one can give other.

The entire duration was frequently punctuated by a dance or a monologue (a breakfast monologue – totally unrelated or disconnected, as per me, was humorous because of his presentation and delivery. I didn’t get the jokes – it was related to breakfast of Germany,probably boring and monotonic – but yet I could laugh and enjoy.) and while all this, other cast members were busy constructing some random objects – or so they seemed. At the culmination of the show the entire stage was full with those constructed objects – and looked quite chaotically beautiful –formed a part of chain-reaction setup (I found a name to this kind of setup -Rube Goldberg machine ) over the entire stage with all carefully planted objects – that it finally made sense. And that chain-reaction was brilliant too.

With all the plus, a minor grouse – at many times, so many things were happening in parallel on stage that I found it hard to switch eyes from one to anohter and had confusion where to look or what to concentrate on. Also, if only I could relate more to the dance , monologues.

In total, a performance, contemporary and unconventional, which was so full of energy and vibrant, which must be a result of tremendous effort and rehearsal – so much so that, it looked casual and informal – at a level it probably was informal and impromptu, brilliant dances/body movements to good range of music – such magnificant canvas and such art - the package created fans and deserved the repeated standing ovation it got from the audience.

Ps: If my writing is unstructured, grammatically incorrect, sentence formation confusing – good, I am currently influenced by the unconventional show and am on my way to do unconventional, chaotic perhaps, writing. To hell with editing and correction and all – I want to write free flow; but, to the extent that interested/curious reader must/will get the point.
Pps:
This is a famous video that shows Rube Goldberg Machine ..

Common Man – Theatre in “complete the story format”

For more reasons than one, this was a play I wanted to watch since long time – probably few months. And it was an evening well spent and memorable.

The common man is the central character of the play, as is obvious from the title of the play. The play is an attempt to see the world through the eyes of a normal person ..who is born and brought up in typical middle class family….follows a conventional path..attends an engg college…

He joins a workplace … is not the kind of person to resort to leg pulling or showing off ..or”chamcha” kind.. gets dominated and works extra time..he toils while others steal limelight and awards…

He marries in a conventional arranged marriage set up…is silent even when he is cheated..

He attends a self-help guru class…ends up failing even applying the lessons learnt…

And so on and so forth..just the common activities.. But what makes this story different is that, it simultaneously explores the insecurities and failings of the common man while at the same time, exposes the atrocities (if I can use the word) performed by other members around him. If colour could help theater, am sure the group would have put the common man in a black and white frame while other characters in colour. The very intent to downplay the character and the story, takes limelight. There lies the beauty of the this play.

At some juncture…when common man meets failures and dejection at every road..helplessness at every attempt..failure at every opportunity..despite his honest efforts…I was so moved…it was the point at which I became connected with the play..also to mention the stirring song “rasta kya chahe tujse…” And a scene where the umbrellas just suck the common man into them…there was no pre or post scene for this and it stand-alone stood perfect and complete.

The common man, as a cue from the common man of R K Laxman, here too never speaks. He is the silent spectator in every scene. Even when the scene is about him; about things affecting him – even then, he is the silent observer. And yet he leaps – he wishes to leap into a colorful world – beautifully portrayed at many places but at one particular scene of the movie shooting. The yearnings of the common man; the dreams of a common man – to somehow jump into the other side .. to somehow hog the limelight, to earn fame, money etc…the wishes of most common men .. was quite nicely – metaphorically captured in this scene remains unscathed in the memory.

So in an event that, he does manage to become famous…what happens next ? Do all his problems get solved..? after few scenes, the play stops and the audience is made responsible to suggest the continuation and ending.

The “identification” with the characters on screen assures the connectivity – or the striking the chord thing – which was evident in this play aplenty. Almost everyone said they identified with the common man – I was quite unhappy to see so many unsatisfied people. Haha, jokes apart, I did not “like/wish” to be identified with him. But for the aspirations, which find a commonality, I really do not want to dwell upon my life – am quite aware that it is very common, but I would like to leave it at it.

[As an aside -Also it is quite not-surprising how every one feels he is deprived of proper rewards for his efforts – for eg I see everyone being unsatisfied with their appraisals and read somewhere that every employee feels he is undervalued. Haha.]

Since I didn’t quite appreciate the audience’s thoughts, I will not go into detail but, the common man is given, after a suggestion from an elderly man, a moment of triumph. Didn’t I say, the yearning of common man was obvious in the common man of the audience too 

Ps: A child remarked, on asked what might happen to common man, said, “He would be shot by Kasab”. That thought, even now manages to send shivers down the spine. That one sentence speaks a lot to the fears and insecurities of the common man, the collective failure of the system, the role of media/society and not to forget – the unfortunate era we are living in.

Plus:

Coming to the other aspects of the play other than the story, in no order of importance :

1.

Singing and music : If one thing that made us keep going back to the play and think about it, even after a day of watching it , it was the soulful singing and music. It was just out of this world, refreshing and deliriously hummable. The silent guy sitting at the corner of the stage packed such energy and soul (have to use this word alone!), that whole auditorium was reverberating with his frequency. Not to forget the wonderful background music too – especially it came alive even during the audience suggested part of the play. It was a display of unbelievable synchronization between the team and backstage artists.
2.

Acting: Acting varied from good to excellent .. some of the acts were a real hit with the audience. The acting by the common man – who remained off colour when the entire other cast was hyperactive, was a superb act. Even though what I wrote about story was gloomy, the play was lot of fun. The parody, the satire, the sarcasm – and contributions from other characters in the play was quite funny. Leave aside all philosophical thoughts, all thought provoking ideas, this play is worth watching just for its gags.

3.

Usage of props and costumes : the simplicity of props usage and the costumes were very prominent. The ring for the award, the umbrella, dupattas etc.were nicely used!. To convey a message, only message is important, other things can be just formed in the mind – to help that formation the actors put up a brilliant setup. Though I didn’t give extra attention to lighting (there were so many new things to notice this time, unlike earlier times – more about it later), I felt it was apt at all places and very good at few.

4.

The good scenes in no order : the common man getting sucked into umbrella – that was poignantly brilliant. I was quite hit by the scene, got scared that I couldn’t quite immerse myself and started looking away. Life is scary and …err..that word…err …sucks. The other good ones were…the film shooting, the oshome swamy, the monologue of the wife, the high energy acts …

5.

Lastly, I like the spontaneity in which the performers picked up the story from the audience and performed fluently. There was no talk/preparation and somehow it just flowed. I knew this would be a complete the story format, but this continuation was more than I expected. Also, quite impressed by the concept

Minus:

1.

Audience immaturity. For many reasons, one of the vital parts of “complete the story” format should be audience. But I was disappointed by the continuation the audience suggested. For one, none were bothered about the whole picture, second they were happy to take minor digs. For example I can not approve of the wife eloping – it hardly made any sense or any continuity – it was just for the kicks ! And same with every character saying they were Amol – the name of the common man, which hardly made sense to me – even thinking philosophically. Agreed every man is a common man, yet, we were seeing him being portrayed by a central character ..
2.

Not doing the repeat endings is – though – good for the actors as it would be challenging, but for most of the audience it is the first viewing – so it is nice that they get a good ending being played. There may not be very good different endings after a few runs of the play.
3. The oshome oshome swami act, looked quite detached to the plot – though it was entertaining and it slightly connected back, it could have been short.
4. Some situations come back after common man becomes famous - like the award in office. I wished it happened to many other scenes - like common man visiting a shooting scene after he is a known face and everyone mobs him instead of giving attention to the stars. Or him visiting oshome ashram and people asking him questions by neglecting the swami.

Suggestions:

When I cringed about the maturity level of the audience and when I expressed my dissatisfaction about the ending suggested by audience , my friend quietly asked – you were a part of audience too, why didn’t you speak. This, I’ll explain in a bit, but hit me hard. Yes, I am a complaining person at times, just like many common people, pointing fingers at things, but not knowing solution by myself. “Not knowing solution” does not enfore that I “not see the problem” too. Also, some people are of opinion that if you are not able to create, you are not eligible to criticize – which in my opinion untrue – we all know ways even Tendulkar can improve but handed a bat, we may not even score a run. But that’s how we are

So long story short, coming back to why I did not try completing the story. Basically, I never jump ahead and give my opinions anytime but there was another significant observation I made – I could not get my thoughts together. I was still in the play mode, swallowing and digesting everything and suddenly lights on – audience feedback – people started suggestions and I started following them and I lost my trail.

Thus, when I looked back, I felt 2 minutes silence to the entire audience will help everyone get their thoughts together. It will help them put aside minor plot continuation to the larger picture – because I felt people were caught in developing the play scene by scene but they didn’t know where they were heading finally.

If I look back now, I guess if allowed to myself, I would complete it in no different way than what happened in real to the first KBC winner Harshavardhan Navathe : read long back that he became the victim of jealousy of his neighbors and on-goers who frequently damaged his car and what not. Can’t find such a source, however, found this

Asked out continuously to preside at several functions within and outside college at the behest of the authorities, Harsh was not able to complete the requisite attendance for his last semester - a fact that almost cost him his last term college, leading to severe depression.

By the time, he recovered, say our sources, he has crossed the age limit for taking the IAS exams, something he had set his heart on doing, and a fact he had openly admitted when he occupied the hot seat on KBC. A job in Mumbai later yielded the same problems that had plagued him when in college.

All said, the overall experience was a wonderful evening spent in Rangashankara. The story was moving..The play, the fun itself was entertaining….but also quite impressed with the concept of audience involvement, couldn’t help imagining the plots and endings that might be thrown up in different stories I have come across. I myself have frequently had problems with endings and had often wished, what if this, what if that..and it was so overwhelming (but difficult at the same time) when the power did come to the audience’s hands to continue…

Full disclosure: Yours Truly Theatre is a theatre group which is innovating in the forms and formats of theater - like the complete the story, and ‘yours truly’ (I!) has attended workshop conducted by them and have joined them.
Ps: Wondering if the innovation could be patented

I have got interesting and not so interesting feedback for my eyes quite often. Samples :

You are doe eyed

Till then I didn’t know what a doe..so when I got that feedback, I couldn’t quite figure if it was a compliment or an insult. However, I was happy that my eyes were notice.

Have your eyes been this big from childhood ?

This was repeatedly asked my dietitian every month…to my embarrassment and anger. I guess eyes don’t keep growing every day…and irrespective of that, the way she looked at my eyes by feeling scared and asked was similar to asking if any devil/bhooth is inside my body!!

You have eyes as if they are about to fall out

Now..what could I say for that..I was quite some years of age when I heard this, since they were “about to” fall out for that long, I had no worry that they might “indeed” fall out anytime..I had confidence that, they will just hang in there till they permanently close. Heh.

You have very expressive eyes..your eyes speak a lot..

Quite unfortunately, this comment though is often repeated, has never been from people of opposite sex and hence I quite don’t feel pleasant for this compliment..What use of a message if it is not reaching right destination. Listen girls…you don’t know where to look and what you are missing..hehe.

For further proof, the research , which ignited this post …

Women are attracted to men with big pupils

I need not give an example of how untrue it is…anyways if indeed that happens…I know what it is !!

I like to record my dreams…however funny or silly. I guess I did that earlier here…

Few weeks ago…I got a dream ..in complete movie format. I mean there was a beginning, a development…and some strategy and a convincing ending. Usually, the endings seem convincing in dreams, but after waking up seem silly..but this was not so. It has been weeks and I totally forgot the story but I remember that it was a neat package.

And there have been consistent dreams…related to real life. Which follows – what you think in subconscious comes in dreams or it gives you a hint – pattern. Or just a wishful thinking sometimes. I am so used to them that I no longer enjoy them..only regret.

However this post is to mention these obscure, abstract dreams…but, hold on, even more abstract ones.Hehe.

There was this beautful dream…beautiful in the scenary.. beautiful in music..there were leaves all around on the ground..those colorful leaves probably…just fallen from trees due to seasonal changes..and my vision rises from the ground ..like a camera focus..slowly..up up…to the blue sky..vast sky.

Then camera comes down…and I see …myself. But what “I” see is like watching myself on screen. I mean..did you get it ?
So the I- on screen, was draped in a white dress…I have held out my hands…and I am falling…slow motion..I am swirling and falling…slowly…the music too seems be very slow… I fall …
Just when the fallingI is near the trees…the seeingI realizes that the trees are so empty..all leaves fallen away. Some bad feeling comes..this makes the fallingI to fall fast..before fallingI crashes on the ground, before music stops, sleepingI gets disturbed and wakes up.

The same day there were 3 more small, neat dreams like this…the second one was not this artistic or good…it was about my drowning…I am in vast water…and after 2 minutes of playing, I start drowning..what I realized even in dream was, I didn’t bother to shout for help. I let myself drown…and sleepingI wakes up disturbed.

The other had to do with Rahul Dravid..last over..he hits Australian(in my dream) Steyn a superb off side 6…the non strike is tendulkar..another few balls of last over…Dravid gives catch…caught and bold..it’s all over. India lost the test match..the win would ahve given series win but now series lost..but worse, it was Dravid last match..so stadium is giving standing ovation despite India’s loss..tendulkar is at loss of words.

And another day a superb scary dream…I am stuck in some cave..I wondered in my dream how the hell did I land here. There were few friends…I don’t remember who..but one was quite unwell. I wanted to get out of this place…I try to find the entry of the cave..and it is being covered by water…the falls…so there is water falls covering the mouth of cave and we are stuck inside. That itself must have sent me shivering and sweating..but I dared to go to the mouth..and see below. Shit !! It was too scary. I am at an unbelievable height…heart beat stopped and I woke up.

From DNA, but can’t find link..this ‘supposed‘ link does not work..(anyways, many sites carry news..)
But this does

former miss world finalist has had her hands and feet amputated after being struck down with an infection

a two-time miss world finalist has had her hands and feet amputated after being struck down with an infection.
brazilian model mariana bridi, 20, had emergency surgery this week after she fell ill with a virus that spread to her blood.
her devastated boyfriend thiago simoes said, “we are all absolutely distraught and are just praying now that she can pull through.
“she fell ill on december 30 and we took her to hospital where she was misdiagnosed with a kidney stone.
“they gave her some medicine and sent her home. but two days later she started getting worse.
“we took her back to hospital and they said she had a very serious infection.
“she got more and more sick, and had no blood circulation to her limbs.
“first she lost her feet, then on tuesday she lost both her hands.

Unfortunate as it is, but quite humbling to others who give undue importance to looks and beauty … anythin can happen anytime sort of…

And another (again can’t find link as it was on toi kannada) ..

2 year old baby girl Tamanna..who met with accident with parents..and could not survive..her father himself severely injured..lost his wife..decides to donate her organs… heart goes to another child..kidney goes to 60 year old man…

Again ..humbling …and reiterating that…unpredictable life..
****
As much as this video is very inspiring

Or I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.

…I just want to add one point - people unless they experience themselves, will never be able to realize the true worth of anything. Though I might feel good about having limbs, that ‘thankful’ feeling just subsides when I come across something which I don’t.
It may be just me.
But what I am saying is, if mosquito bite is the worst thing to have happened to person - that is *the* worst pain he would have experience, he will not be able to *feel* what it is when it is more painful. His pain, perhaps, is *equivalent* to the worst pain experienced by another person. All I am saying is,pain is relative to one’s *own* experience.
To each his own.

A man with vision will never be able to realize what’s life with a blind & appreciate vision as much as blind will never be able to truly realize how powerful eyes are. (Unless of course their status changes..you get it ..right?)

Damn!! am I sounding weird…negative…??!!

Photolink
(contd from prev post in some sense)
So, I prepared for midnight marathon..ran 15 kms well before a fortnight..but after that was again lazy. Ha! Some days ran only 30 minutes. A week before I wanted to run 15km again, but took a grand rest of 12 days..which was more than necessary and in a way bad.

Anyways, coming to marathon..was quite confused what to eat, what to drink in the days just before marathon..also the amount of water to be consumed during runs..did lot of research..some a little too late..

However everything pointed to “what you are comfortable during your normal long run practices”..damn, I had just one long run. And, I had no different facility for that..i still ran around my usual field..I didn’t drink a drop of water till I came home..So I decided I will go without water for the same distance - around 15kms.

Also of another concern was the shoes..I read, we should have 2 size larger shoes as feet tends to expand…there was no way I could change my shoes that lately-which were perfect fit - not bigger. Also, frequent blisters and lost nails, when I ran long distance were of concern. Plus since it was midnight - different than my schedule..eating, sleeping..everything mattered ..or so I thought.

With some anxiety .. with excited family members… all went to the venue well in time…

and the run started….i had forgotten watch..which meant I had to ask time at various points..more about that later. So I started and kept at my usual pace..which by my calculation was between 7-8kms in an hour..the first half of the lap looked interesting..except for the fact that everyone seemed to overtake me some ran and walked..by which time if I had passed them, they again overtook me..hehe..so I just saw people going past me and despite my best efforts I seem to go very slow..which is happening in my life too currently.

i wondered at some people wearing jackets..i had already started sweating profusely…due to excitement..due to fear..due to running.

i saw people….elder to me..younger to me..faster than me..some slower than me..it felt good.

as i don’t listen to music, i let my train of thoughts run..and my mind..circled the same old things..recalled happenings in last years..thought of dreams..past..future..past..future.

i observed one thing apart from my pace which i felt was slower than my usual …the surface..the tar surface clearly notified the difference..i usually run comfortably in normal ground..on mud..but this was hard.HARD.

instead of taking water from volunteers i asked time..one of the volunteers turned his glass of water he had held to offer, to see the time..that classical practical joke ..hehe..i felt bad and after that made sure i asked time to other people instead of those holding water cups..

i had roughly finished 5.5 kms at 12:45 ..45 minutes..which more or less was my pace..felt comfortable..kept the same pace..much before finishing first half, few probably Kenyans and few Indians had already started back..saw them on the way..roughly guessed their speed must be twice of mine..which means they might finish in less than 90 minutes..which is not heard of I thought..so the speed might get lower further down..

so wanted to pick up pace…but didn’t want to burn out..so i kept running at my pace..

and my train of thoughts at its pace..

the night marathon …(as against what i read about ultra) is boring in that, it is dark everywhere..nothing to see..

i finished first lap…it felt good…i asked time..it was 1:30 ..45 minutes..ah..what consistency…

and as expected, the fast runners were on their 4th half..end of second lap..double my speed..

i during my normal practice runs…run continuously..not run, jog actually…but never walk..i have read many run-walk-run rules ..but i can’t keep count or follow it..because after walking, i feel lazy to jog again..

so i kept the same mindset here..not going to walk until i have finished at least my maximum distance covered or more than that…which was 15 or more..so 3 halves…

after sometime i asked time..i was told 1:15…clearly some where it was wrong..so i lost track of time..

so i kept jogging..but this third half was the longest…the end didn’t come at all…after half of it ( which is like 13.5kms) i was very tired..but i didnt want to stop or drink water till i finished the lap..

but i could not complete 3rd half..almost at end, i drank water…walked a little..stretched a bit…bent … took a leak…and then proceeded..i felt better..i guess i should have taken water little earlier..it gave me good feeling..

i tried to smile at people on the sides…like those security guards..or supporters..some smiled back and encouraged…but some guards looked puzzled..but i like to smile at random strangers and observe their reaction..hehe…so i continued to smile at people..

now started drinking water little regularly..yet i took care not to over do it..but now i was entering into new distance…so no previous experience to follow..not sure if i can just expect to extend my body behaviour …

i asked time..at the end of 3rd half..it was 2 !! there was no way i had run 3rd half faster than the earlier two…damn, my time track was waste..why did i forget watch…

if i thought 3rd half was longer,never ending… 4th i knew would stretch to an eternity.. but i just wanted to finish it..not back out in between…in googlegroup, i was told “run,walk,limp,crawl…but finish that line and be happy that you did it..” that was only my motto..now i had become lazy to jog..and even if i did jog, i was so so so slow, slower than slow motion, despite the fact that i did jog, i was slower than those who walked..

now even my train of thoughts deserted me…i didnt know what was happening..i just wanted to finish..that smile too deserted me..i didnt become hopeful of finishing sooner as i had hoped in 3rd half..i knew the end might come after eternity..so mentally kept telling me lot more lot more distance to cover, but deep inside hoped, somewhat magically the end would appear just then…this again, i do in my life..i keep my expectations low only to make myself happy … but as these days, even low expectations are being turned into disappointments..so it happened here, my magical end line, didnt arrive, a second sooner against my deep hearted wish..wishes, i tell you.

i felt comfortable walking..i felt bad that almost whole 6.5 or more i would be walking…much more than my target…probable reasons could be slower pace…also night food…or tar surface..or something else….

i observed people…as i do every where..some were really enjoying..especially those who had company…they chatted and sang…and jogged together…to watch a couple put steps(speed) perfectly in syc with each other was a beautiful sight..wavelength i guess

now along with time, i also started asking distance remaining…at one point i was told 2:30 and 2.5kms remaining..so i felt comfortable i might make it within 3 hours ..

i decided to ask distance much later..and after walking what i considered a long walk, i enquired..it was 2kms pending…i was disappointed…if that much distance covered was just .5 km, i dreaded to think further…

i tried to finish this thing fast and tried to start slow jogging…but now, the left muscle had pulled…it was paining little…i did some stretches…but i realized if i jog, it gives time to pull and hence pain..

at one point i almost wanted to stop..not because of tiredness - i didnt get tired..just was pained.. i wanted to stop because the boredom had hit me again…this lack of motivation, again as in my life, is leaving me clueless..

but stopping too would pain the leg due to muscle pull..now i realized the importance of warm up or stretches before the run..

so there i was, i could not jog..i could not stop…so there was nothing i could do but to walk…i HAD to walk..whether or not i like it. haha. problem solved.

now distance or time did not matter…because i knew, i just had to go whatever..there was no way i could quit after having come this long..and out of curiosity i asked distance..he said, just here half km…he was encouraging me or motivating me i felt..

now again, i observed lot of people went past me..some of them might be from next race too…i hate to be overtaken..

i started to feel very hungry too…thought if i could somehow grab a sandwich (no idea why sandwich..)

i decided to consider it more than half…but hoped inside, that it could really be half km….but as usual, i was disappointed..the half km never seemed to get over..it felt more than the entire 3rd half !!

i realized..i was not tired…i was just plain pained…(or am i differentiating the same thing)…point was, only legs were paining and refusing to move..but entire body and mind was willing…it almost felt like being chained up in a restricted body…

now with no train of thoughts, no smile, with no option but to walk, irrespective of distance or time..i kept walking..walked a little with closed eyes too…felt good. mind, sight everything was blank.(except one thought..)

also at this crucial junxture i promised myself a Chocolate fantasy if i finished this…aaah….not exactly motivation, cos there was nothing i could do -with or without motivation - but to walk..but a feel-good thought..

and finally i saw the crowd… i kept hejje-mele-hejje(foot upon foot) and proceeded..i saw someone munching something yummy in the spectator line..i looked at him ..he said “So you finished!” …i said “Yeah!!”.. what a feeling. feel it to know it.

now i cared not for the timing but for academic interest or to improve it next time, or if i was the last..i saw the digital clock..it looked 3:02..or it could be little more, not sure..(my next target is to reduce this to at least 2:30 .. and keep doing 2-3 half marathons a year…yeah, not even planning full marathon..)

Just to convince myself, I wanted to look behind if someone was left ..but then I smiled at myself. It didnt matter. I had finished..well..and sound enough..thats all mattered. i wasn’t as broken as i had expected to be..

A halt to look behind, but dismissing that thought, smiling and moving ahead with an accomplished feeling…can’t express it in words.

(And that of chocolate fantasy too…is beyond words…and the train of thoughts too.)

“Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the lion or it will not survive. Every morning a lion wakes up and it knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It doesn’t matter if you are the lion or the gazelle, when the sun comes up, you better be running.”

(at some place credited to Maurice Greene..at other to anon). (Though there are better running quotes, I like this one..because it is not about running ..he he. )

Time has come to make a mention of one of the things I mentioned in an earlier post

And there were a couple of important things(1,2,3) which I will write in separate posts sometime later.

So I have been jogging on and off since October 2007 ..discontinued till January..again ran till March ..again became irregular. I had a target of running marathon - or rather wish, not a goal… So much off-hand wish that I did not even know the distance covered in a marathon and how much I was running. On first week of May 2008, I realized some marathon is just 20 days away..and I realized I need more than a month practice to hit those kilometers.

And, in addition, I sprained my knee during badminton games. Badly. The knee which was quite badly sprained many times all these years, cried more this time. Many visits to doctors happened. 2 of 3 suggesting an operation which I do not want to undergo - no matter how safe and how required it is. May be foolish stubbornness, but thats how I am.

In between again I became little serious about running. Now, I calculated the distance I ran continuously - as against my walk-jog or walk routine. I ran out of breath in 2kms. What?! Yes, 2 kms.

May had gone behind..next I remembered there was one in November.

All this while I ‘thought’ marathon would be just 10-15 kms & full to be around 21kms..I found out full marathon is 26 miles and half would still be 13 miles - that is around 21kms. 10 times the distance I ran out of breath !!

It seemed unsurmountable. Then was the wake up time, to do lot of research..also does not make sense to keep a target too high and feel bad not having reached it. My rough goal was to run a marathon in 2008..without knowing what distance. Ha ha. And now I also have to keep my knee in mind.

Now the same 2km after which I had ran out of breath, looked too small against what I needed to achieve. So, in a way, it is just a mental block and proper motivation or direction. However, I reduced my target to do just a 10km continuous before year end. That seemed gettable.

From 2km,increased to 3 in a week. 5km in another week. 8km next and a few days later 10km. Yeah, it felt good. Great. Now with 10km under me, I wanted to go higher..but knee.

But still, it was a very good feeling to start with 2km and increase upto 10km in a month’s time !!

[Long time ago, our lunch time conversation were usually one pal talking about his number of his jogging rounds..so much pissed off I was with his repeated talk about jogging that we named him jagger. But now I was exactly doing the same..boasting to anyone whom I met explaining my running and its progress - surely giving a complex to them. Haha, first time in my life I enjoyed my ego and was happy about it. All because, in a way, it was giving back to them who had earlier made fun of me. He he.]

I wanted to consult a doc who is specialist in knee as well as about running. Via SwaroopCh, I found a perfect doctor Dr Rajat, who himself has run 100kms in previous ultra.

Thankfully, he didn’t insist on operation, there by making me feel vindicated about my judgment/preference. But he also cautioned against running too much without strength/workout exercises.

Bought running shoes, most expensive ones I ever invested in.

Just around the corner was Ultra and I despite wanting to participate, felt low on confidence to run 21. But after reading through the experiences, I felt I really missed something. I could have ran at least one lap of 13 kms.

Next one was Bangalore Midnight marathon around Dec 13..thought of giving it a try half-heartedly.. but had very less practise..luckily the marathon got postponed and got scheduled to Jan 10th…now I decided to give it a try no matter what.I regularly ran around 30-40kms per week with exercise and rest days included in the week.

I once touched 15km - around 100 minutes of running. And felt satisfied. And bored. Bored of running alone. Bored of not listening to music or something like that.(I dont listen to music for some lame reason) Bored of running circles in the same ground,same surrounding looks. ( I just stuck to my previous running ground/field so that I know the distance properly). Even though I had fuel for few more, I just stopped after 15km.

Now I was skeptical about my ability to run the full distance..and hence asked on runnersforlife google group whether I could walk half the distance. Just to make sure I am not odd man out.

And finally, on Jan 10th, I ran midnight marathon. I waited to finish something before posting about my good adventure so far.

So I ran. I completed. More about it in next post.(I know half-marathon is NO big deal…see below).

Meanwhile here are two things I kept reminding myself.
1. Key to life
2. Team Hoyt

Dick and Rick Hoyt are a father-and-son team from Massachusetts who together compete just about continuously in marathon races. And if they’re not in a marathon they are in a triathlon — that daunting, almost superhuman, combination of 26.2 miles of running, 112 miles of bicycling, and 2.4 miles of swimming. Together they have climbed mountains, and once trekked 3,735 miles across America.

It’s a remarkable record of exertion — all the more so when you consider that Rick can’t walk or talk.

For the past twenty five years or more Dick, who is 65, has pushed and pulled his son across the country and over hundreds of finish lines. When Dick runs, Rick is in a wheelchair that Dick is pushing. When Dick cycles, Rick is in the seat-pod from his wheelchair, attached to the front of the bike. When Dick swims, Rick is in a small but heavy, firmly stabilized boat being pulled by Dick.

From:

There have been may struggles along the way beyond the heart attack that Dick suffered. Dick had to have knee surgery when he twisted it initially in a race and again while trying to evacuate Rick when a hotel fire alarm went off. A tree went through the roof of Dick’s house and within a few short months Rick’s van broke down (the chair lift broke).

Ps: My resolution of not being verbose just gone to wind ? No time..this is single-write, no proof read, no edit..hell not even spell check.