Lens

My dear readers of this blog,
Wish you a very happy new year.

As per my usual practice, I would like to do a post looking back at my year and also looking ahead. In short, I have had a reasonably good year.

I would like to add my notes to this, but another day another time.
Drama

For the last few days, if there were two topics everyone talked was that how drastically different it is going to get when 1.undergrads appear..40k people suddenly appear and jam the traffic, eateries, bus etc.
2.winter appears. apparently this year, winter hasn’t arrived so far, unusually. I had few sweaty days and these seem to be the hottest days of the year. While I enjoyed the weather and clear skies, everyone disappoints and scares me by talking about winter. So I am now bit scared rather than enthusiastic about the advent of winter and snow.

The first one has happened today and how.

And today was cold compared to all these days.

**
I had been to two university campuses earlier, and hence the campus hasn’t excited or overwhelmed me to as much an extent it should have.From back home, when I am asked the question, how is the campus I usually answer with an ok. But the campus is actually quite good. It feels so much like a park. As I mentioned before, I can’t still digest the fact that I am going to study here..

**
There were some team building activities. And again, they were quite awesome. But it wasn’t as overwhelming to me to that an extent that it should have been, perhaps for the reason that I was exposed to them earlier during our team building outings in corporate settings and most recently - in theater. In YT almost every activity we did was immense fun with a learning aspect and team building activity lesson built along with it.

**
People here hate cloths. I feel over dressed with a full arm shirt and jeans.
Well, it is no surprise to me that people here are comfortable with as much less weight on their bodies, but am looking forward to their ability to continue the same during winter.

**
Penn State may not be the best university out there, but certainly the most popular(due to the football). With 400000 alumni network, there should be a proud Penn Stater in any which company or in any which distant relative of any body.

**

When I was looking for schools, this was rated 7th among Supply Chain Management schools in US. Now it is No.1 (well, I don’t bother about the ratings as long as we are 1).

But this is restricted to our department. What is of more significance is that, when I was searching for schools, this university was number 2 party school in US. Now it is No. 1 party school.

After two weeks of somewhat busy orientation, today was the first day in class. Although the orientation had a pre-term accounting course and given a taste of the class, assignment and even a test to end it, today was still officially the first day in class.

Listening to the experience and diversity of the classmates, realizing the experiences of the teachers, I again wondered if I really was sitting in this class. It is strange that even after two weeks of this college, sometimes I still wonder if this is real. Looking back at the last two years when I was following this school, the admission process, the results, the other process of getting here - it still hasn’t sunk in that I am doing MBA and at US, and at Smeal.

I met few more 2nd years who are just back from an intern experience and few with job offers.

Talking about the class - I wish I could just concentrate on the subjects rather than bother about the career fairs just like I wish I could just browse internet at home rather than cook and clean !

After 6 years of working, it feels great to be back at school. I am fortunate and thankful for many, most importantly for my parents for this to be possible.

I met many Indians who are pursuing PhD here, and many straight out of BE..and I kept feeling jealous ! I heard myself saying ‘better late than never’. I drew consolations from some of the classmates who have more than 10 years work experience and the average seems to be around 5.

Yesterday and day before I met lot of Indians and Kannadigas(attended a Ganesha pooja function too!) ..and realized there are some opportunities to pursue my other interests like community service, running, theatre and even salsa. But I fear that it would be highly difficult to manage my time with my studies and all these interests. Plus I want to participate in so many activities that I fear biting more than I can chew. So am thinking twice before making commitments.

Last week has been a breeze. Meeting new people, understanding new ways etc etc. As usual, there is never enough time to write about all that I want to.

Why talk about last week, last few months were very busy. There were so many things going on in my mind that I was more often than not absent minded. I realized the importance and value of many things in life.

The todo list ever kept growing.

I closed some ends, some not in the way I would have wished to.

It was quite messy and hurried at the end, with mounting confusions and uncertainties. I wish I had better sanity and patience at many circumstances.

And am here, State College. I am possibly going through another transition in life, the only thing that continues is that I will continue to observe and understand people.

Wish I could jot down regular thoughts and updates.

I want …I want to write blog posts recording hundred and one musings and thoughts in my mind..I want to write about my dreams (both night and grand day dreams)..I want to write stories..if possible a novel ..I want to ..

I want to read those nice blogs..I want to read important news so that I can talk authoritatively based on facts rather than about my opinions and views..want to read and understand economics and politics and history .. add a word ‘world’ behind each of the above.. I want to read those umpteen books I can have access to..those comics I never read..want to read children novels, fiction, science fiction, philosophy and those odd romance novels ..

I want to watch all movies possible..and if possible write reviews there by improving my command or understanding..listen to all songs possible..watch all the plays possible..

I want to spend great time meeting all my friends..want to talk away the time..want to spend quality time with family..

Want to travel a lot… travel unusual places..villages..remote corners of Karnataka/India as well as want to visit exotic places of the world..visit all continents..visit all the wonders of the world..explore Europe..stay for some time in some of the places so that I really understand and experience the culture rather than just visit-smile-take a photo as a tourist..possibly own an island..

Want to learn some art forms…like theater..film making..something other individualistic..want to learn some fighting techniques..

Want to have alternate sources of money that I am not forced to work, but yet I work due to the sheer love of doing something ..making some difference to society by my work..and some how incorporate my some other wishes as a part of work rather than having to live two lives..

Want to live a long healthy and wealthy life and also having well wishers and close family around me always..

Want to make people smile at me whole heartedly..and cherish my presence and company…and leave behind cherishable memories…

**
There are only 24 hours a day.And __ years. And I can be present at only one place at a time and do only one thing at a time.

Here is to my 29*. Damn.

*: Belated, reason should be obvious by now.

Attakalari Biennial International Dance, followed by Bengaluru Habba

Iron Maiden, Anoushka Shankar, Pankaj Udhas in palace grounds on consecutive weekends.. wow.

So diverse and vibrant ! Bangalore, currently, is as high as it could get wrt to cultural events I guess.

For details, see these posts : Marathon, Running

I like to record my dreams…however funny or silly. I guess I did that earlier here…

Few weeks ago…I got a dream ..in complete movie format. I mean there was a beginning, a development…and some strategy and a convincing ending. Usually, the endings seem convincing in dreams, but after waking up seem silly..but this was not so. It has been weeks and I totally forgot the story but I remember that it was a neat package.

And there have been consistent dreams…related to real life. Which follows – what you think in subconscious comes in dreams or it gives you a hint – pattern. Or just a wishful thinking sometimes. I am so used to them that I no longer enjoy them..only regret.

However this post is to mention these obscure, abstract dreams…but, hold on, even more abstract ones.Hehe.

There was this beautful dream…beautiful in the scenary.. beautiful in music..there were leaves all around on the ground..those colorful leaves probably…just fallen from trees due to seasonal changes..and my vision rises from the ground ..like a camera focus..slowly..up up…to the blue sky..vast sky.

Then camera comes down…and I see …myself. But what “I” see is like watching myself on screen. I mean..did you get it ?
So the I- on screen, was draped in a white dress…I have held out my hands…and I am falling…slow motion..I am swirling and falling…slowly…the music too seems be very slow… I fall …
Just when the fallingI is near the trees…the seeingI realizes that the trees are so empty..all leaves fallen away. Some bad feeling comes..this makes the fallingI to fall fast..before fallingI crashes on the ground, before music stops, sleepingI gets disturbed and wakes up.

The same day there were 3 more small, neat dreams like this…the second one was not this artistic or good…it was about my drowning…I am in vast water…and after 2 minutes of playing, I start drowning..what I realized even in dream was, I didn’t bother to shout for help. I let myself drown…and sleepingI wakes up disturbed.

The other had to do with Rahul Dravid..last over..he hits Australian(in my dream) Steyn a superb off side 6…the non strike is tendulkar..another few balls of last over…Dravid gives catch…caught and bold..it’s all over. India lost the test match..the win would ahve given series win but now series lost..but worse, it was Dravid last match..so stadium is giving standing ovation despite India’s loss..tendulkar is at loss of words.

And another day a superb scary dream…I am stuck in some cave..I wondered in my dream how the hell did I land here. There were few friends…I don’t remember who..but one was quite unwell. I wanted to get out of this place…I try to find the entry of the cave..and it is being covered by water…the falls…so there is water falls covering the mouth of cave and we are stuck inside. That itself must have sent me shivering and sweating..but I dared to go to the mouth..and see below. Shit !! It was too scary. I am at an unbelievable height…heart beat stopped and I woke up.

From DNA, but can’t find link..this ‘supposed‘ link does not work..(anyways, many sites carry news..)
But this does

former miss world finalist has had her hands and feet amputated after being struck down with an infection

a two-time miss world finalist has had her hands and feet amputated after being struck down with an infection.
brazilian model mariana bridi, 20, had emergency surgery this week after she fell ill with a virus that spread to her blood.
her devastated boyfriend thiago simoes said, “we are all absolutely distraught and are just praying now that she can pull through.
“she fell ill on december 30 and we took her to hospital where she was misdiagnosed with a kidney stone.
“they gave her some medicine and sent her home. but two days later she started getting worse.
“we took her back to hospital and they said she had a very serious infection.
“she got more and more sick, and had no blood circulation to her limbs.
“first she lost her feet, then on tuesday she lost both her hands.

Unfortunate as it is, but quite humbling to others who give undue importance to looks and beauty … anythin can happen anytime sort of…

And another (again can’t find link as it was on toi kannada) ..

2 year old baby girl Tamanna..who met with accident with parents..and could not survive..her father himself severely injured..lost his wife..decides to donate her organs… heart goes to another child..kidney goes to 60 year old man…

Again ..humbling …and reiterating that…unpredictable life..
****
As much as this video is very inspiring

Or I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.

…I just want to add one point - people unless they experience themselves, will never be able to realize the true worth of anything. Though I might feel good about having limbs, that ‘thankful’ feeling just subsides when I come across something which I don’t.
It may be just me.
But what I am saying is, if mosquito bite is the worst thing to have happened to person - that is *the* worst pain he would have experience, he will not be able to *feel* what it is when it is more painful. His pain, perhaps, is *equivalent* to the worst pain experienced by another person. All I am saying is,pain is relative to one’s *own* experience.
To each his own.

A man with vision will never be able to realize what’s life with a blind & appreciate vision as much as blind will never be able to truly realize how powerful eyes are. (Unless of course their status changes..you get it ..right?)

Damn!! am I sounding weird…negative…??!!

Midnight Marathon

Anyways, coming to marathon..was quite confused what to eat, what to drink in the days just before marathon..also the amount of water to be consumed during runs..did lot of research..some a little too late..

However everything pointed to “what you are comfortable during your normal long run practices”..damn, I had just one long run. And, I had no different facility for that..i still ran around my usual field..I didn’t drink a drop of water till I came home..So I decided I will go without water for the same distance - around 15kms.

Also of another concern was the shoes..I read, we should have 2 size larger shoes as feet tends to expand…there was no way I could change my shoes that lately-which were perfect fit - not bigger. Also, frequent blisters and lost nails, when I ran long distance were of concern. Plus since it was midnight - different than my schedule..eating, sleeping..everything mattered ..or so I thought.

With some anxiety .. with excited family members… all went to the venue well in time…

and the run started….i had forgotten watch..which meant I had to ask time at various points..more about that later. So I started and kept at my usual pace..which by my calculation was between 7-8kms in an hour..the first half of the lap looked interesting..except for the fact that everyone seemed to overtake me some ran and walked..by which time if I had passed them, they again overtook me..hehe..so I just saw people going past me and despite my best efforts I seem to go very slow..which is happening in my life too currently.

i wondered at some people wearing jackets..i had already started sweating profusely…due to excitement..due to fear..due to running.

i saw people….elder to me..younger to me..faster than me..some slower than me..it felt good.

as i don’t listen to music, i let my train of thoughts run..and my mind..circled the same old things..recalled happenings in last years..thought of dreams..past..future..past..future.

i observed one thing apart from my pace which i felt was slower than my usual …the surface..the tar surface clearly notified the difference..i usually run comfortably in normal ground..on mud..but this was hard.HARD.

instead of taking water from volunteers i asked time..one of the volunteers turned his glass of water he had held to offer, to see the time..that classical practical joke ..hehe..i felt bad and after that made sure i asked time to other people instead of those holding water cups..

i had roughly finished 5.5 kms at 12:45 ..45 minutes..which more or less was my pace..felt comfortable..kept the same pace..much before finishing first half, few probably Kenyans and few Indians had already started back..saw them on the way..roughly guessed their speed must be twice of mine..which means they might finish in less than 90 minutes..which is not heard of I thought..so the speed might get lower further down..

so wanted to pick up pace…but didn’t want to burn out..so i kept running at my pace..

and my train of thoughts at its pace..

the night marathon …(as against what i read about ultra) is boring in that, it is dark everywhere..nothing to see..

i finished first lap…it felt good…i asked time..it was 1:30 ..45 minutes..ah..what consistency…

and as expected, the fast runners were on their 4th half..end of second lap..double my speed..

i during my normal practice runs…run continuously..not run, jog actually…but never walk..i have read many run-walk-run rules ..but i can’t keep count or follow it..because after walking, i feel lazy to jog again..

so i kept the same mindset here..not going to walk until i have finished at least my maximum distance covered or more than that…which was 15 or more..so 3 halves…

after sometime i asked time..i was told 1:15…clearly some where it was wrong..so i lost track of time..

so i kept jogging..but this third half was the longest…the end didn’t come at all…after half of it ( which is like 13.5kms) i was very tired..but i didnt want to stop or drink water till i finished the lap..

but i could not complete 3rd half..almost at end, i drank water…walked a little..stretched a bit…bent … took a leak…and then proceeded..i felt better..i guess i should have taken water little earlier..it gave me good feeling..

i tried to smile at people on the sides…like those security guards..or supporters..some smiled back and encouraged…but some guards looked puzzled..but i like to smile at random strangers and observe their reaction..hehe…so i continued to smile at people..

now started drinking water little regularly..yet i took care not to over do it..but now i was entering into new distance…so no previous experience to follow..not sure if i can just expect to extend my body behaviour …

i asked time..at the end of 3rd half..it was 2 !! there was no way i had run 3rd half faster than the earlier two…damn, my time track was waste..why did i forget watch…

if i thought 3rd half was longer,never ending… 4th i knew would stretch to an eternity.. but i just wanted to finish it..not back out in between…in googlegroup, i was told “run,walk,limp,crawl…but finish that line and be happy that you did it..” that was only my motto..now i had become lazy to jog..and even if i did jog, i was so so so slow, slower than slow motion, despite the fact that i did jog, i was slower than those who walked..

now even my train of thoughts deserted me…i didnt know what was happening..i just wanted to finish..that smile too deserted me..i didnt become hopeful of finishing sooner as i had hoped in 3rd half..i knew the end might come after eternity..so mentally kept telling me lot more lot more distance to cover, but deep inside hoped, somewhat magically the end would appear just then…this again, i do in my life..i keep my expectations low only to make myself happy … but as these days, even low expectations are being turned into disappointments..so it happened here, my magical end line, didnt arrive, a second sooner against my deep hearted wish..wishes, i tell you.

i felt comfortable walking..i felt bad that almost whole 6.5 or more i would be walking…much more than my target…probable reasons could be slower pace…also night food…or tar surface..or something else….

i observed people…as i do every where..some were really enjoying..especially those who had company…they chatted and sang…and jogged together…to watch a couple put steps(speed) perfectly in syc with each other was a beautiful sight..wavelength i guess

now along with time, i also started asking distance remaining…at one point i was told 2:30 and 2.5kms remaining..so i felt comfortable i might make it within 3 hours ..

i decided to ask distance much later..and after walking what i considered a long walk, i enquired..it was 2kms pending…i was disappointed…if that much distance covered was just .5 km, i dreaded to think further…

i tried to finish this thing fast and tried to start slow jogging…but now, the left muscle had pulled…it was paining little…i did some stretches…but i realized if i jog, it gives time to pull and hence pain..

at one point i almost wanted to stop..not because of tiredness - i didnt get tired..just was pained.. i wanted to stop because the boredom had hit me again…this lack of motivation, again as in my life, is leaving me clueless..

but stopping too would pain the leg due to muscle pull..now i realized the importance of warm up or stretches before the run..

so there i was, i could not jog..i could not stop…so there was nothing i could do but to walk…i HAD to walk..whether or not i like it. haha. problem solved.

now distance or time did not matter…because i knew, i just had to go whatever..there was no way i could quit after having come this long..and out of curiosity i asked distance..he said, just here half km…he was encouraging me or motivating me i felt..

now again, i observed lot of people went past me..some of them might be from next race too…i hate to be overtaken..

i started to feel very hungry too…thought if i could somehow grab a sandwich (no idea why sandwich..)

i decided to consider it more than half…but hoped inside, that it could really be half km….but as usual, i was disappointed..the half km never seemed to get over..it felt more than the entire 3rd half !!

i realized..i was not tired…i was just plain pained…(or am i differentiating the same thing)…point was, only legs were paining and refusing to move..but entire body and mind was willing…it almost felt like being chained up in a restricted body…

now with no train of thoughts, no smile, with no option but to walk, irrespective of distance or time..i kept walking..walked a little with closed eyes too…felt good. mind, sight everything was blank.(except one thought..)

also at this crucial junxture i promised myself a Chocolate fantasy if i finished this…aaah….not exactly motivation, cos there was nothing i could do -with or without motivation - but to walk..but a feel-good thought..

and finally i saw the crowd… i kept hejje-mele-hejje(foot upon foot) and proceeded..i saw someone munching something yummy in the spectator line..i looked at him ..he said “So you finished!” …i said “Yeah!!”.. what a feeling. feel it to know it.

now i cared not for the timing but for academic interest or to improve it next time, or if i was the last..i saw the digital clock..it looked 3:02..or it could be little more, not sure..(my next target is to reduce this to at least 2:30 .. and keep doing 2-3 half marathons a year…yeah, not even planning full marathon..)

Just to convince myself, I wanted to look behind if someone was left ..but then I smiled at myself. It didnt matter. I had finished..well..and sound enough..thats all mattered. i wasn’t as broken as i had expected to be..

A halt to look behind, but dismissing that thought, smiling and moving ahead with an accomplished feeling…can’t express it in words.

(And that of chocolate fantasy too…is beyond words…and the train of thoughts too.)

“Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the lion or it will not survive. Every morning a lion wakes up and it knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It doesn’t matter if you are the lion or the gazelle, when the sun comes up, you better be running.”

(at some place credited to Maurice Greene..at other to anon). (Though there are better running quotes, I like this one..because it is not about running ..he he. )

Time has come to make a mention of one of the things I mentioned in an earlier post

And there were a couple of important things(1,2,3) which I will write in separate posts sometime later.

So I have been jogging on and off since October 2007 ..discontinued till January..again ran till March ..again became irregular. I had a target of running marathon - or rather wish, not a goal… So much off-hand wish that I did not even know the distance covered in a marathon and how much I was running. On first week of May 2008, I realized some marathon is just 20 days away..and I realized I need more than a month practice to hit those kilometers.

And, in addition, I sprained my knee during badminton games. Badly. The knee which was quite badly sprained many times all these years, cried more this time. Many visits to doctors happened. 2 of 3 suggesting an operation which I do not want to undergo - no matter how safe and how required it is. May be foolish stubbornness, but thats how I am.

In between again I became little serious about running. Now, I calculated the distance I ran continuously - as against my walk-jog or walk routine. I ran out of breath in 2kms. What?! Yes, 2 kms.

May had gone behind..next I remembered there was one in November.

All this while I ‘thought’ marathon would be just 10-15 kms & full to be around 21kms..I found out full marathon is 26 miles and half would still be 13 miles - that is around 21kms. 10 times the distance I ran out of breath !!

It seemed unsurmountable. Then was the wake up time, to do lot of research..also does not make sense to keep a target too high and feel bad not having reached it. My rough goal was to run a marathon in 2008..without knowing what distance. Ha ha. And now I also have to keep my knee in mind.

Now the same 2km after which I had ran out of breath, looked too small against what I needed to achieve. So, in a way, it is just a mental block and proper motivation or direction. However, I reduced my target to do just a 10km continuous before year end. That seemed gettable.

From 2km,increased to 3 in a week. 5km in another week. 8km next and a few days later 10km. Yeah, it felt good. Great. Now with 10km under me, I wanted to go higher..but knee.

But still, it was a very good feeling to start with 2km and increase upto 10km in a month’s time !!

[Long time ago, our lunch time conversation were usually one pal talking about his number of his jogging rounds..so much pissed off I was with his repeated talk about jogging that we named him jagger. But now I was exactly doing the same..boasting to anyone whom I met explaining my running and its progress - surely giving a complex to them. Haha, first time in my life I enjoyed my ego and was happy about it. All because, in a way, it was giving back to them who had earlier made fun of me. He he.]

I wanted to consult a doc who is specialist in knee as well as about running. Via SwaroopCh, I found a perfect doctor Dr Rajat, who himself has run 100kms in previous ultra.

Thankfully, he didn’t insist on operation, there by making me feel vindicated about my judgment/preference. But he also cautioned against running too much without strength/workout exercises.

Bought running shoes, most expensive ones I ever invested in.

Just around the corner was Ultra and I despite wanting to participate, felt low on confidence to run 21. But after reading through the experiences, I felt I really missed something. I could have ran at least one lap of 13 kms.

Next one was Bangalore Midnight marathon around Dec 13..thought of giving it a try half-heartedly.. but had very less practise..luckily the marathon got postponed and got scheduled to Jan 10th…now I decided to give it a try no matter what.I regularly ran around 30-40kms per week with exercise and rest days included in the week.

I once touched 15km - around 100 minutes of running. And felt satisfied. And bored. Bored of running alone. Bored of not listening to music or something like that.(I dont listen to music for some lame reason) Bored of running circles in the same ground,same surrounding looks. ( I just stuck to my previous running ground/field so that I know the distance properly). Even though I had fuel for few more, I just stopped after 15km.

Now I was skeptical about my ability to run the full distance..and hence asked on runnersforlife google group whether I could walk half the distance. Just to make sure I am not odd man out.

And finally, on Jan 10th, I ran midnight marathon. I waited to finish something before posting about my good adventure so far.

So I ran. I completed. More about it in next post.(I know half-marathon is NO big deal…see below).

Meanwhile here are two things I kept reminding myself.
1. Key to life
2. Team Hoyt

Dick and Rick Hoyt are a father-and-son team from Massachusetts who together compete just about continuously in marathon races. And if they’re not in a marathon they are in a triathlon — that daunting, almost superhuman, combination of 26.2 miles of running, 112 miles of bicycling, and 2.4 miles of swimming. Together they have climbed mountains, and once trekked 3,735 miles across America.

It’s a remarkable record of exertion — all the more so when you consider that Rick can’t walk or talk.

For the past twenty five years or more Dick, who is 65, has pushed and pulled his son across the country and over hundreds of finish lines. When Dick runs, Rick is in a wheelchair that Dick is pushing. When Dick cycles, Rick is in the seat-pod from his wheelchair, attached to the front of the bike. When Dick swims, Rick is in a small but heavy, firmly stabilized boat being pulled by Dick.

From:

There have been may struggles along the way beyond the heart attack that Dick suffered. Dick had to have knee surgery when he twisted it initially in a race and again while trying to evacuate Rick when a hotel fire alarm went off. A tree went through the roof of Dick’s house and within a few short months Rick’s van broke down (the chair lift broke).

Ps: My resolution of not being verbose just gone to wind ? No time..this is single-write, no proof read, no edit..hell not even spell check.

Years ago, I used to do yearly goal setting and appraisal of the same (2005, 2006, 2007). Somehow, last year there was a lull on this blog. Not that there was nothing to say, but time whizzed past me.¹. But yes, nothing much happened in 2008.

Time flies. Almost every month of the las years are photographically in front of me.

Went on fewer tours than ever, watched perhaps fewer movies/plays, read hardly any books,took fewer photos, wrote fewer blog posts. Feeling sad that did not write the reviews to all the plays I watched at RS, something I wanted to do.

Met fewer friends or relatives, but yes attended a series of functions/engagements/weddings. Almost weekly, for few months.

Sprained my knee (which has been abused by me for many years now and many sprains) and 2 of 3 doctors suggested an operation. In an unrelated separate consulting, a specialist trivialized my existence (well almost to that effect).

Nothing was done towards maintenance of this blog.

So where did my time go ? Travel to office eats up 3 hours of my daily life, an hour or so goes away in reader and other browsing. Weekend goes just like that. Time flies I tell ya.

On positives, bought a car.
Played around with beard styles
Attended french class.
Joined YT workshop.(Lots to talk about the experience..)
Gave a try at Nokia Design Challenge

And yeah, Talked A LOT. Wrote a LOT. Chatted(im) a LOT. Browsed a LOT.

Time flies.

And there were a couple of important things(1,2,3) which I will write in separate posts sometime later.

Resolutions (yeah not goals):

1. At least 3 ..no 2 no, at least ONE post a week .Fortnight Month. There are many random thoughts to blurt out, and if nothing else, could use this space as a journal.
2. Be less verbose
3. Be less expressive.

There are some goals I want to internalize but don’t know how far I will succeed, not particular to the year but to forever is that :

• Measure everything. Measure,measure,measure. ( Everything ..time spent, money spent, eating ..everything.)
• Prioritize things/people.

Wish…
My only wish…is that my next year post should not be so mediocre like this..it should have some nice things, significant happenings in my life this year. [actually There are two things I could have wished..and those have been wished at every star-falling, at every eyelash-uff-ing, so am quite sure those will not happen ]

And finally, Thanks to everyone who have made my 2008 memorable.

[1]It feels just yesterday that previous new year was here. I still have a ‘draft’ post HNY08 with a review and goal setting..and some photos of corn²
[2]Most notable thing about 2007³ was that I ate sweetcorn as much as twice or thrice the sweet corn I must have eaten all my previous years put together. In contrast, in 2008, it was a total NILL.
[3]Most important happening of 2007 was a dream US tour..the only tour I didn’t write a log of, much as I wished to. It was a dream tour and a lifetime memory. Some memories

I am surprised, happy and envious (at the same time) when I see people with passion ( towards work in particular and about anything in general ).

Ps: Not implying anything, but I partially remember this sentence from one of the finest articles I had read on a tennis match writing about Sampras’s loss and a comment about the opponent (whose name I forget) :

He was quick, perfect, [etc] everything that Sampras himself once was but can no longer be.

Why is it only during goal setting or during appraisal meeting do I realize ” Oh! what am I doing ? Oh! where am I” and tend to think how very futile & nonsense everything looks.

It is sometimes excruciatingly difficult to blog, esp to write a post (not the linking stuff). Writer’s block is one thing and having too much to write but finding no time to write is another.
And then, like it has happened today, the whole time is spent in browsing, chatting, installing and stuff. I haven’t been able to draft a single paragraph!

Sometimes a Good Morning quote ignites a conversation. A recent one ignited two :

ONE::
Rk:

I prefer the most unfair peace to the most righteous war. Marcus T Cicero

Adiga:

should it be the otherway round? prefer righteous war to unfair peace? I heard it that way.

Rk:

Many replied like that … this is what Marcus said..may be righteous war was what Lord Krishna said.

Adiga:

No, I heard some foreign author said it.

Rk:

If internet is the right source, I find the quotes I sent only ..and not the other way round quote….

Adiga:

Ya,,,,,file a review to that site and question its correctness.

P.S. Marcus Cicero made a failed attempt to establish peace in Rome. So if he is frustrated because of this, then what internet told is wrong. If he still believed his fundamentals despite his failure then its right.

Rk:

It is there in ALL the sites…and if you need to prove them wrong, you should have source & proof to the correct quote … burden of proof lies on you

oh thanks for the info…

Adiga:

 Burden lies with Marcus himself because the world doesn’t know whether he is frustrated or not…Lets close the debate.

Rk:

Ok., lets close the debate
It is unfair to close debate..but it is peaceful

TWO (More food for thought) ::

Rk:
I prefer the most unfair peace to the most righteous war. Marcus T Cicero

SY:
I tend to disagree with Marcus’s statement!!

I would prefer to have a “just WAR”, instead of anything unfair.

Rk:
Well, I was just thinking under which category does “marriage” fall.

Joke apart, there are very few quotes I send which I personally do not agree with but just want to display the thought a great person might have had. I can say, this was NOT one of them.
For me, life & peace is more important than war - because war is inherently unfair in more ways than one.

May be ek discussion hojaye

SY:
My views
Regarding Good Morning quote:

Assume, I have unfairly gained advantage (escaped from being hit) just because some body chose to keep quiet rather than hit me. I would feel so uncomfortable, that I will not be able to continue my daily activities peacefully. I will lose my peace of mind for the unfair peace that I gained.

Assume, I have unfairly lost advantage just because I chose to keep quiet rather than hit some one else, OR some body forced me to keep quiet. I might repent later on and start developing hatred against that someone. Again I will lose my peace of mind for the unfair peace that I gained*.

*All words used should be taken at face value.

Rk:

First of all, being hit is no way equivalent to a war. War is when those who are not involved are also hit, killed. Possibly you are trivialising war.

In first scenario, it shows that you are a good human being. In which case there was no way you were to be get hit in the first place which will rebut the first sentence. Secondly, even for a moment we consider the first statement to be right, the result is “you lost your peace of mind”, which is FAR better than war or he killing you/hitting you One more thing, the peace gives you chance again and in case of war, it is over. Hitting will instantly result in you hitting you (because that is according to you  - rightful war). Something on the lines of eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

In the second scenario, if you are developing hatred that is only because you do not believe in the qoute. If you agree with the quote there is no confusion, it is unfair but it is peace. So you will not develop hatred. On the other hand, the effect is only “repent later”, but in war, there is no end until one of them is hurt. So since it is NOT only one hit you will return and he keeps quiet (bcoz he might also believe in war - righteous or not )  , and hence it is not known who is going to give a final blow. So it might happen that there is no “later” for even repenting.

Thats how I see it. I hope I am making at least some sense …

However, unfairness is not to be tolerated. (But since war is also unfair, war is not the solution, I think). Unfairness is not to be tolerated - which is why we had Freedom Struggle, which is why Nelson Mandela fought against racism, which is why feminists are fighting, which is why …etc.

If I made some sense, we can consider the debate closed. If I have not made any sense, probably you are right and hence the debate is closed - in this case, it is unfair to close the debate, but it is peaceful

This bowl out in Twenty20 is so stupid and childish! Wonder who got that stupid idea and suggested and wonder how other people accepted it ?! First of all, by run rate/ number of wickets fallen, ( Duckworth-Lewis or something like that ) easily a side could be declared winner.

But understanding that you want to make it thrilling in the last minute and all, even then this bowl out looks so disgraceful to cricket. It is not equivalent to penalty shoot out in football/hockey, it is roughly equal to kicking at the goal post without the goal keeper.

Why is it being reduced to only bowling accuracy ? Kicking a goal and defending was what they did it all the time in a football game but in cricket it is more than that. Why not consider batting accuracy and let the batsman hit a ball by tossing it himself in the air ?

Also it is quite simple to bowl at the stumps. Just bowl plain dead slow ball ! I am sure just after few tie-breakers, one will see all the bowls hitting the stumps, then what ?! I think they will be asked to bowl at single stump ?! When that also does not break a tie, they should do it with eyes closed. Wah !

If a tie breaker had to be played, then an extra over each team of normal cricket is most perfect. ( And again, not in an empty field without fielders! ).

In advance wishing you all a very happy Ganesh Chaturthi.

Ps: Some posts coming soon. Also sharing lot of things on link blog
Pps: What do you think of new theme ? Click on those tiny pics on top to change the look.

Happy Independency Day to All Indians !
Lalbagh Photos:

# I rarely laugh when I read the jokes and forwards. The least repeated email forward has at least been read twice earlier. The first two sentences of the jokes usually give away / remind me the end.

# Sometimes, it is different though. The following is one such joke which I thoroughly enjoyed, so much so that I was actually feeling disappointed, angry for some reason before reading this. At the end, I had forgotten that and was smiling - that means it must have been doubly good.

# Not sure if it appeals to all. That is the point with tech/geek jokes. And those who get will laugh like anything.

# Not sure why I enjoyed so much, may be it suddenly took me back to college maths.

# Or may be the flow along with my imagination ! I like this style of metaphor or animated thoughts.

# It has a tinge of philosophy though !

# Courtesy : Mail by Pk (Thnx). Would love to compliment the originator though!

# Here it is, if you like Maths, read on. Read it slow, don’t scroll down too fast.

Functions

The arrogant  exponential function e^x is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by. He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being non-differentiable at the origin.

He smiles, thinking to himself, “Dang, it’s great to be e^x. I’m real analytic everywhere. I’m my own derivative. I blow up faster than anybody and shrink faster too. All the other functions suck.”

Lost in his own egomania, he collides with the constant function 3, who is running in terror in the opposite direction. “What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you look where you’re going?” demands e^x. He then sees the fear in 3’s eyes and says “You look terrified!”

“I am!” says the panicky 3. “There’s a differential operator just around the corner. If he differentiates me, I’ll be reduced to nothing! I’ve got to get away!” With that, 3 continues to dash off.

“Stupid constant,” thinks e^x. “I’ve got nothing to fear from a differential operator. He can keep differentiating me as long as he wants, and I’ll still be there.”

So he scouts off to find the operator and gloat in his smooth glory. He rounds the corner and defiantly introduces himself to the operator.

“Hi. I’m e^x.”

 

 

“Hi. I’m d/dy.”

Just wondering what would have happened if these things did not happen in our life time - iPhone, Harry Potter, Rajnikanth ? What would have people talked about so passionately ? What would have caught the fancy of people ? What would have got the cult following ?

More importantly, would people have led a mundane, mediocre lives or would people have found something among the available things as craze-worthy and cult-status worthy ?[1]

If it is the former, we have been very lucky. If it is the latter, more thoughts needed. Till then happy reading/watching or experiencing.

Be maniac, be happy [2]

[1] Lets leave out iPhone from this discussion. iPhone or actually iPod created a space for itself when there was none. Its not one among 100s like movies/books.

[2] I personally feel, everyone, everyone should have something to be maniac about.

Histronics (have you heard in any show about terrible but cute host getting kissed on the show ? ) and contracts and emotionally charged over exaggerating shouting over the top “gurus” aside, Saregamapa is still immensely watchable for me for the singing talent it has. And also since it was a show I used to regularly watch pre-sms era. Though the names behind the show, like Gajendra Singh and Shaan have moved on to Star, I watched episodes of saregamapa. I tried watching Amul Voice of India in Star but due to the timing and the darkness of the set I fall asleep and the bright colourful set of Saregamapa along with the over the top performances of gurus of Saregamapa help me keep awake (and of course there is a repeat show in the day time plus entire show’s video is online).

Coming to the point of the post, last week I found all the 8 people in the Brahmastra round (or whatever round) in which only 2 would be taken forward.

My picks are Sarika and Raja Hasan. Sarika is the same lady who fainted on the stage after a biased judgement ( by Asha) . She sang extremely well in this round too and more I liked was her way - irritatingly innocent way - of asking for votes. Thats how my niece of 4 year old would have asked for votes chocolates !

She does have serious competition from Shaberi who has already bagged a singing contract from Visha-Shekar. And Vishal-Shekar are the most sensible and watchable gurus over there (save Bappi Da who is neutral most times). Lets not talk about Himesh (for there are conflictingly diametrically different opinions, and any stance I take is dangerous !), and his partner in crime Ismail. More about them some other time and oh I am digressing. Just wanted to say, really love the way Vishal-Shekar enjoy the music.

Among the boys, again there are very talented ones but Raja Hassan is my pick. He pulled out an unintentional emotional card which should easily give him more votes but that should not take away any credit from his ability. He is gifted, period.

And the Bengali contest winner really got the pulse of the crowd and since he is already qualified to move further, should be a tough competitor to others.

Here are the videos of Sarika (I wanted to post the way she asked for votes!) and Raja Hassan :

The starter homepage is one of things that I never used to get. Long back when I was learning html, I had created a starter page that was just putting all the frequently visited sites at one place (with their logo) so that I need not type out the url and also I can keep track of the sites visited in that session (the clicked link would change its colour). Making this as the default homepage was all about it.

The last time I tried starter homepage was while trying out web2.0 ( netvibes/pageflakes) starter pages. Full of bright colour, with drag and drop features, ajaxy stuff, yet my usage did not extend beyond signing up and trying out once. And having to remember one more account was making it difficult. I still did not get it.

Finally came google homepage. It should be one of the most underrated services by Google (or I might not have heard about it). Though I initially tried homepage only because I could check if there were new mails in gmail without logging into gmail ( logging into gmail is time limited & restricted in office - but no such restriction for homepage )

But now I have added enough stuff to homepage that it makes sense to open one page rather - both to get different content at one place and to login only once.

Most important components are of course gmail, news, reader -which contains digg, delicious etc, game, twitter, clock so on and so forth. With reader embedded on starter page, finally I get the feel of riverofnews concept - easy, simple yet very meaningful, useful for a google-reader freak like me.

To get around the email restriction in office I tried out some back door tactics but did not succeed completely. If I could get hold of one good email to rss converter, I can subscribe to that feed in reader which now embeds the mailing feature. That would have completed the loop without logging on to gmail, but alas.