Lens

Today is my last working at office. I will be back to student life.

Since almost my early career, I have sent a good morning quote on every day I went to work, just before I started working. I have written about them earlier here.

I am putting an end to it now. (May be temporary, may not be temporary). So I sent a mail explaining the same and attached a FAQ about my transition. As it makes a good read, am copying it here with some improvements.

Frequently asked questions and answers or anticipated conversations …

1. Where are you going?
To pursue MBA
2. Where
Smeal College of Business
3. Where
US
4. Where
Pennsylvania (Technically to be accurate, in University Park which is a small municipality within a borough called State College (which is nicknamed as “Happy valley”) which is in Centre County, which is in Pennsylvania state…well, never mind !)
5. Which university
Penn state university
6. (Not so frequent) Wharton?
(blushing)…well..no not University of Penn, but Penn State University …
7. Full time?
Yes
8. 2 years?
Yes (actually 21 months ..)
9. Wow… how come suddenly planned ?
Hmm….

10. No clue at all..you didn’t tell me ?
You didn’t ask me .. ! [But actually, I have told anyone and everyone I have met or those who interacted with me, in last few months.]

How did you get admission.. ? Did you write exam ?
It is a long process from planning Gmat to final acceptance.

How much did you score in Gmat ?
Gmat score alone does not help, it is a holistic evaluation of the entire application. [See, I am already ready to speak in managerial lingo – ambiguous yet meaningful.]

11. When did you plan and how did you go about selecting college etc…
Mail me if you really are interested to know/ thinking on similar lines.
Plan was there from long time..but nothing concrete. Motivation level changed due to various reasons. Finally, something worked out at the fag end. Nothing great to talk about, but if you really want to know the best way to do it, mail me.

Basically, my outline of this long journey was like this comprising of close to 2 years..
mba.com - gmat – switch off- wake up- toefl - school selection –switch off – wake up- essays - deadlines –reject- change of schools – essays - deadlines –apply-apply-apply- crossing finger - reject - reject- reject-school selection- apply - apply - reject - admit –apply-apply-apply-reject – reject - beg borrow money - loan - documents – accept the admission - resignation -visa – scholarship- air ticket - relieving

12. What have done differently that no one else would have done?
Many things…for one, I sent a long mail with a gist “Get lost, you didn’t deserve me..watch out for me” to the adcom of an university after they took long time and then rejected me ..

13. What ? Are you crazy ?
Hmm..

14. When are you traveling?
August 5th

15. Can we meet over a cup of coffee/ for lunch/ for dinner / for breakfast / for a date/ for beer?
Sure! I will be happy to – provided you take care of the bill and provided I am free/ available at your convenient time. [Hope questions from this FAQ are not repeated!]

16. Can I come to airport to see you off?
Sure ! Provided you are going to present send-off gifts!
17. What gifts are you looking at
Well anything ! wrist watch, sunglasses, your unspent dollars, books, my photos with you, the money you have to return to me ..anything.

18. Direct flight ? Which flight ?
No. Am going by Luftansa to Philadelphia via Frankfurt. From Phi to State college I catch US Airways (Yes, our university town has an airport too! And its own postal code too! How cool is that )

19. Finished shopping ? What is the weight allowed ?
Shopping going on. Weight - 23*2. I have some space left for your gifts.

20. When do the classes start
August 24th, but mandatory orientation from August 9th

21. Resigning the job ?
Yes, resigned.

22. When are you getting relieved?
July 20th hopefully.

23. Stay and all there?
An apartment has been booked, on sharing basis with 2 other guys.

24. Any friends there? Contacted anyone?
No. Yes.

25. You know cooking? What will you do there?
No. Hmm…Let me see.

26. Will you put on weight ?
Hmm..don’t know..

You will.
Hmm

27. Will you go running, salsa, theatre, aerobics, gym, swimming, there too ?
Hmm..don’t know.

You will not.
Hmm

28. Why MBA?
Please…I have heard this question and answered this lot of times…

29. Which concentration/branch/major/area/etc
Not sure now…general management…entrepreneurship..but let me see. Specialization is to be taken in 2nd year.. College is famous (6th ranked in US) for Supply Chain Management..so hoping opportunities will be better in that area.
30. Will you work in US? Will you settle in US? Will you not come back to India ?
Hmm…nothing decided as of now.. I take things as I go by.. flexible plans. Let me see how things work out.
31. When will you marry?
Hmm…nothing decided as of now.. I take things as I go by.. flexible plans. Let me see how things work out. [Perhaps you can help if you come across a rich, ready-to-marry girl who is looking for a MBA to manage her finances – and is ready to help me repay my loan]
32. What is the cost /expenses?
Hmm… Mail me if you want to fund a good boy’s education. Your money will be returned with attractive interests!

33. How are you arranging it ?
Bank loan..rest savings..rest beg borrow from family and friends…so it includes you. Mail me if you want to donate for a good cause.

34. Which bank ? How much ? What is the rate of interest ?
SBM. 20 lakh (maximum possible!). 13.25 (floating)

35. How will you repay it ? Is it not huge amount? Are you not taking a risk ?
Hmm…[philosophical tone] What is huge….what is not… no body can take away money while going …
[or]
[diplomatic tone] It all depends on priority.
[or]
[practical tone]
Hmm…nothing decided as of now.. I take things as I go by.. flexible plans. Let me see how things work out. There is internship…there is a possibility of scholarship…there is a hope of job that may help me repay loan pretty soon. Let me see. It’s a long journey I am starting.
[or]
[even more practical but pessimistic tone]
If nothing works out, I have backup.

36. That is a huge amount of money you are spending on MBA. If I had that money – I would have [bought a 2 bedroom apartment and settled down/ started my own company/ bought diamond jewellery / went on world tour/ invested in stock and made lot of money ]
Hmm

37. You don’t need a MBA .. managers only talk some hi-funda ..throw around attitudes…it is others who get the real work done…don’t run behind money .. MBA will just be a fancy degree and does not teach you anything….people succeed even without MBA.
Hmm

Dhirubhai Ambani did not have MBA ..
But his sons have.

What do you mean ?
Hmm..

38. The Hmms as replies are bad… you are proud.. You have ego, attitude..
Hmm..

39. How much money you need ..? I have some lakhs which I have not invested anywhere…
Now you are talking, mail me.

40. What if I can’t donate money ?
Give me “loan”

41. What if I don’t want to give you loan..or what if I want but I can’t , my money is all used up.
Well I have a scheme for everyone. Wish me. Pray for me. I want to try out this crazy theory called “intention- manifestation” which says if sufficient people think and pray strongly, it will happen. So wish me and pray for me - I get full scholarship next year. Pray for recession to end before my course ends. Pray for super paying job for me.

42. No, I will not do that for you..if that was true, I will pray for myself only, why should I pray for you ?
Hmm…

43. What will I get in return if I loan/fund ur education ?
If loan better than FD rate of interest…
If funds:
If you are boy/married girl/etc: Good karma and a preference in partnership in the company that is going to world-dominate.
If you are an unmarried girl: If we can work out something together, full ownership of that company to you.
if (parent of an unmarried girl)
{
How about an alliance to your girl with a charming young eligible bachelor – engineer turning MBA, programmer turning don’t-know-what. Also a blogger, marathon runner, theatre enthusiast, salsa dancer, thinker & a dreamer – all in one.
}
Ps: If I convinced you in this answer, may be MBA in marketing is my real forte.
Pps: Just to remind you, not related to the above, this mail has come with photo attachments.

44. Are you excited about going back to school..?
Of course yes.. But bit scared about hectic schedule too.

45. Are you happy to leave the job?
Hell yes..as if you didn’t know the answer to it. I never thought I would say this – but yes, I am not going to miss coding or technical work.

46. Why did you chose US…there is recession…there is H1B problem.. Europe/Singapore/Manila/Switzerland/Ethiopia were better.
Well… I attempted at other places too. But competition is quite high[and particularly this year as Murphy chalked out things personally for me] and I am left with best option. I didn’t have patience to wait or to retry.

But somehow I feel Smeal was pre-defined to be my destination. I have read about it even before I planned gmat. [There is a dancethon event, how cool is that !] Been reading their updates. Even if all other schools I had shortlisted kept changing, Smeal always remained on the list. This is the only school I applied neatly within planned deadline. And everything about it went smooth – no waiting for results, no major disappointments , no confusions or hassles in the process.

47. What were the other problems you faced ?
Recession, which has resulted in 1. increased number of applicants 2.reduced funding and some universities cancelled loans to international students.

48. Will you not miss home…mom’s food. ..country…. parents… friends… food… climate… people
Hmmm

49. Masalapuri, masala dosa, tours, get-togethers, attending marriages, Basavanagudi, jayanagar, rangashankara,
Pls don’t make it tough for me.

50. How can we keep in touch with you ?
Gmail/gtalk and my blog. [blog, twitter, orkut, facebook, you name it]

51. Why are you stopping the GM mails? You were sending from your personal id anyways.
Hmm …

52. This is not fair, you never told us the supposed pre-condition that we were supposed to keep in touch with you or tell our updates in response to your mails or in order to continue to receive your gm mails ..you selfish fellow..
Hmm..

53. Don’t act as if it was a big effort ..
Hmm… You miss the point.

54. Will you not send Good morning mails at all… will miss your mails …

I want …I want to write blog posts recording hundred and one musings and thoughts in my mind..I want to write about my dreams (both night and grand day dreams)..I want to write stories..if possible a novel ..I want to ..

I want to read those nice blogs..I want to read important news so that I can talk authoritatively based on facts rather than about my opinions and views..want to read and understand economics and politics and history .. add a word ‘world’ behind each of the above.. I want to read those umpteen books I can have access to..those comics I never read..want to read children novels, fiction, science fiction, philosophy and those odd romance novels ..

I want to watch all movies possible..and if possible write reviews there by improving my command or understanding..listen to all songs possible..watch all the plays possible..

I want to spend great time meeting all my friends..want to talk away the time..want to spend quality time with family..

Want to travel a lot… travel unusual places..villages..remote corners of Karnataka/India as well as want to visit exotic places of the world..visit all continents..visit all the wonders of the world..explore Europe..stay for some time in some of the places so that I really understand and experience the culture rather than just visit-smile-take a photo as a tourist..possibly own an island..

Want to learn some art forms…like theater..film making..something other individualistic..want to learn some fighting techniques..

Want to have alternate sources of money that I am not forced to work, but yet I work due to the sheer love of doing something ..making some difference to society by my work..and some how incorporate my some other wishes as a part of work rather than having to live two lives..

Want to live a long healthy and wealthy life and also having well wishers and close family around me always..

Want to make people smile at me whole heartedly..and cherish my presence and company…and leave behind cherishable memories…

**
There are only 24 hours a day.And __ years. And I can be present at only one place at a time and do only one thing at a time.

Here is to my 29*. Damn.

*: Belated, reason should be obvious by now.

This is one of the plays I kept hearing about but couldn’t watch it before. Coming from B Jayashri’s team, this is one of those “typical” plays — from which the Indian movies can be said to have originated from — complete with actors singing, drama punctuated by songs/dances and sometimes with a laughter sidetrack.

The story is about a prince who opposes his marriage until he falls for a beautiful woman, Sadarame. Sadarame’s father & grandfather are cunning misers and demand to be crowned in exchange for the daughter’s wedding. King, very eager to get his son married, accepts to this demand. Sadarame and her husband, wander away to another province and find it difficult to survive having exhausted the money.
Sadarame’s husband approaches the prince of the land, who is lusty and lures Sadarame for marriage. She hatches a plan for delaying marriage and plans to escape with husband. Again, a thief overhears her plan and acts as her husband and takes her away and ask her to marry him. She again manages to escape from the thief and lands in another state, and remains impersonated as a man. She, having survived a challenge qualifies to marry the princess of the state. She discloses her true self to the princess, yet remains king until she finds her husband back. After which all three stay together (yeah !), and the cheats get punished.

Main plot as described above at times looked like a thin sketch, it was about other parts – often the side track, that evoked much laughter. For example, of course the masterly act of the thief by B Jayashri herself is priceless – her energy level, her lung power, her singing – and that of a male thief’s make-up was wonderful. And then there was a drunkard singing and mouthing dialogs – his acting was brilliant. The song sequences – the actors singing themselves with simple lyrics – were though good (esp by the hero), but it eloborated too much than required at places. Likewise a scene of bargaining and cheating by Sadarame’s father went on and on. Also I could not follow many Telugu dialogs spoken by him. But Dingri Nagaraj was fantastic and had the audience split with his timings and humour. I also felt, may be this play required more than 2 hours of time and they did considerable editing – especially the challenge which Sadarame wins, was just told in words and had no scene to it and looked abrupt. It reminded me of the TV channels chopping the scenes to accommodate advertisements. Wondered why there was no character introduction at the end of the play. Finally a mention has to be made about the colorful and eloborate stage preparation mostly with the apt giant screens.

Overall: As the pamphlet suggested, the play displayed “navrasas”, the humour being very strong. As such it was an enjoyable experience. The story let me down, but the performances were superlative.

Suddenly I realized/recalled that the format - ThrowWordsGetFiction I talked about, was there - with poem instead - in one of my most favorite movies Before Sunrise. I don’t remember how many times I have watched this movie - either in entirety or some scenes, but it continues to give an unique good feeling about the movie. Can’t describe ‘what’ about it, but it ticks. Was active reader of the yahoo group for sometime..

I cherish both travel (especially train or bus travel, esp relaxed ) and company and talking a lot and of course - traveling in Europe is a long time dream .. the concept of hitting wavelength with a stranger and roaming around the streets carelessly (not having particular checklist of places to visit) itself sounds like a fairytale, no wonder I like the movie..

Will talk about the movie and its sequel ( which I didn’t like as much as I did the former) some other time. Right now the video : Before that, just one more point - if the recession takes away my job, I guess all I need is to find a lake..and hang around there..and ask the strangers - “don’t give me money, give me 5 words .. I will write a story, if you like it … ” Heh ! I may not be immensely talented writer, but do come and encourage me
Now enjoy the clip.. Milkshake !

Daydream delusion
Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and milkshakes
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don’t want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we’re going
Launched in life
Like branches in the river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I’ll carry you. You’ll carry me
That’s how it could be
Don’t you know me?
Don’t you know me by now?

A friend said, during chat on im

As I see, luck can take you only till a point

and continued,

after that, it is all again luck.

Funnily painful. Or painfully funny.

**
These days, my biggest problem is to communicate and clarify to others, that I am not negative (pessimist) and at the same time, I am not a positive person (optimist) - I am (or at least want to be) at the middle ground. And that I am comfortable being there..and that I am quite sure that my mentality does not affect any outcome, but everyone opposes me.

But the problem is at times I get myself confused what I am.

Am I positive just to console myself and just because it is good to be so ?

**

It is bad already that one has to justify himself..but it is worse, when I fail in that..

The side effect is a conclusion which is quite as useless as it could get - hopelessness is not the worst pain…it is helplessness.

**
Am I really as strong as I think I am..or as much as I wish..or as much as I come across..or as much as I try to show ?

**

Does it really matter .. to be strong from outside when I realize that is not me from inside.. to be positive on the outlook when I realize deep within that many things don’t make sense..
[Including the consolations generously offered that again rely on .. hope, future ... the shallow ones which the offerers too realize does not make sense when offered back when they go through a lean phase. I feel guilty for being evil in returning their favours and smiling under nose to have made them realize how shallow their words were..yes I am an evil guy, sometimes.. ]

Does it really matter that I laugh..and make others laugh..when all I want to do is cry out loud standing atop a hill till I get tired and watch the sunset alone and fall asleep counting the stars ?

For details, see these posts : Marathon, Running

“All you need is love” was the play presented by “Yours Truly theatre” on Sunday Feb 22nd at Nayana auditorium. There were two shows of the same - yet since this is an interactive theatre in playback format, each show is unique. In playback format, to put briefly, the input from audience is enacted on the stage. I was quite curious to see this happening and my reaction is mixed.

There were multiple parts to the show - the first one being, what they called, “fluids”. Answers to questions like “what does love mean to you”, “what would happen if there was only love”, were collected from audience and the actors on stage enacted a depiction of it. This happened for few rounds. What was interesting in this was in the way the actors enacted the meanings - it could be straight forward interpretation, or by adding a touch of humour, or by a means of sarcasm. It made me realize there were many ways of looking at same thing and I feel if ..if I can creatively imagine on the similar lines, my gazing-out-of-window-during-busy-traffic-hours could get just a little more engaging and colorful.

There was a round of fluid for the audience reactions to the show…which was a nice touch.

Overall some of the interpretations were not convincing to me..or may be it is just me, I can’t take all ! But some others were apt. And there were many hilarious moments - especially when we are aware that it is impromptu show - the timing and situational comedy was good. As an audience later said, the process and in turn the actors seem to be very intelligent.

The second part was about depiction of a conflict. A deep conflict, for eg, in the second show an audience mentioned “Is love enough for marriage, should one marry at all, or isn’t there a life beyond that” as a conflict. It was a conflict to me few months ago and I found an answer - two infact , one the ideal and second the practical - and it ceased to be a conflict to me. However,in the show, it was a much welcome conflict to ponder upon rather than other futile conflicts that could have come up. Conflicts too, were enacted by three pairs in their own way and the audience-whose conflict was selected- was given a chance to choose which of the three pairs came close to what he/she had in mind. It must have been an unique and strange satisfaction to see the demons/thought of the mind take the form of words and interpretations and en-act on the stage.

The third part was, the actual story being enacted on stage. For this, one of the audience was asked to narrate their story and the actors will act the story in a dramatic way on the stage. The story in the first show was about a job-seeker being helped with a bus ticket by a stranger was not strong on the plot - as per me(because personally, have been through very strong emotions and turmoil…) The emotions or the story wasn’t as profound as the second show’s story. However, the actors did a nice job of highlighting the north-south divide which was just an after thought in the story but it took good shape in the play.

(However as an aside, those who complain about the north-south divide troubling them in Bangalore - in my Bengaluru which embraces everyone without complaining - should really go to Chennai(I did live there, to support my claim) - as the character does go, in this story. Ironically, that character must have realized what a comfortable place Bangalore is, compared to Chennai; I wished this could come out in the play - but it was out of context I guess.)

Comparatively the second story,that of a grandson who hated his grandfather for his discipline while he was alive; but after reading his diary realizes how much care and love his grandfather really had towards him; the soft heart he had beneath the hard outlook. This plot was profound and had a depth of substance; and the actors did superb justice to it.

As is evident, the half the strength of part of the show - for a viewer - lies in the story. If the story is quite substantial - as it was in the second show than the first - the play results in an experience to remember. More the depth-> little more the duration of the play->better the engagement with the audience and a better experience/memory. The co-ordination, flow (the speed), energy and performance as a whole - with acting and music - was quite an entertaining and engaging experience. The only grouse is, this format requires a good story from the audience.

That said, the joy to see one’s story on stage, in full colour and music, must be overwhelming ! Especially to a person like me - I see my story or can relate to an incident or a personality in most of the movies;either to me or to a person I know. Again I was silent for most part of the audience interaction - except for one or two sound bites - otherwise just trying to capture and dissect; to assimilate and analyse the audience’ thoughts and beliefs. But one day, some day.. I will have a story - a grand one.

Uff, the perils of an interactive theatre. And aah, the joys of the same.

International Contemporary dance festival - attakkalari, happened in Bangalore for last 10 days, spread over at different venues. I happened to watch 2 of them, a briefing of the same follows.
Cosmic dance of Shiva
The first one was “Cosmic dance of Shiva”. Shiva, as is known to all, is a king of dances – Nataraja. And his “tandava nrutya” – rudra tandava to be specific- is as full of aggressiveness and passion as it could get. As wikipedia says,

The dance is a pictorial allegory of the five principal manifestations of eternal energy:
‘Shrishti’ - creation, evolution
‘Sthiti’ - preservation, support
‘Samhara’ - destruction, evolution
‘Tirobhava’ - illusion
‘Anugraha’ - release, emancipation, grace
Thus Tandava symbolizes the cosmic cycles of creation and destruction, as well as the daily rhythm of birth and death.

I have always enjoyed the (almost same) music and the dance in mythological scenes in movies or in tv. It is usually when Shiva gets angry, he breaks into a dance!

So, I was expecting to watch something on similar lines. But what I watched has stunned me. The performance, by “Samudra” , was visually beautiful and colorful due to the costumes and lighting. But the dance and music ( music was very varied) itself were even better. The rthythmic movements mostly showcasing different yogic postures (and probably different forms of dances ) were a visual treat. I did try to notice the happy and anger facial expressions but I could not relate the dance to any “sequence/event/meaning” – it was supposed to have a meaning which I came to know during post-show discussion.
However the show has motivated me to try Yoga, sometime.

Extended teenage Era…
This was a performance by Samir Akika, is about study of young artists that learn well but without a job - as per the description.

This was at Chowdiah memorial hall, where I wanted to attend a performance since - the time I went too early for a Evam show of FPS (which I could never watch it, alas) and returned. Its architecture and the environment itself is so arty that I feel good being there.

The show started with a lady instructing the audience about the “don’ts” in an ironical way and was funny. More impressing was her voice and speaking which was so musical and warm that I feel should be used for some philosophical discourse.

Once the performance started by one of the artists, other artists got busy with their work – tearing pages, using cardboard to build boxes or hang postures. The whole stage was their workplace and this went on for the entire show. This initially created a distraction or restless and informal happening on the stage, it slowly became a part of the performance and culminated in a wonderfully surprising way (see below).

The characters were an ensemble of different nationality or cutlure, but supposedly of same age except a small kid – who was thoroughly cute and unbelievable at times. I not only doubted if such small kid could do anything on being told, but to imagine him to rehearse or to do anything on time was beyond my imagination. Probably the impromptu environment could have helped, where he could do anything and still it looks like a part of the performance, but not to take away any credit from him – he did dance quite spectacularly for his age and shouted beats perfectly.

Rest of the characters, each an expert in dance – I am not sure if I could call it dance at all , because it included many things – at one point I wondered if they were straight out of a circus company for they performed gymnastics. Other times too, it was an intense – and sometimes shocking – body movements and jumping around, but there were well choreographed chorus dancing too. Even in the most unconventional movements, what were clearly visible were energy and the beautiful synchronization – a cursor to the amount of extra-ordinary effort that must have gone into the practice – they later said they stayed as a family for 2 months – yet 2 months is not much for the kind of show they put.

I enjoyed the dance and the music, though I didn’t relate it to the narrative or the main plot .. I could realize it was either an angst put out in dance or a celebration. The plot in general moved with childhood memories – the association with pets, the growing up – a superb recital of A for __ to Z for __ with totally unconventional words – probably poking fun at the conventional A for Apple stuff, was funny. The “follow rules” for a slightly grown up kid where parents start suggesting the right ways to sit, stand, walk, even about cleanliness – was humourosly-symbolically represented by a person who learns to sit and eat. Identity crisis was presented as a game (like 20questions). There was a slight touch upon –fear and love – two prominent emotions that suddenly get highlighted(uh,blame on hormones) in pre-teen or teenage. A monologue that followed, which tried to exemplify the beauty of solitude – am sure was a subtle satire on love failure , will be very disappointed if I am wrong. Except that I liked that I got to hear to my favorite concepts - time is important, lost time is gone forever, time is the most precious gift one can give other.

The entire duration was frequently punctuated by a dance or a monologue (a breakfast monologue – totally unrelated or disconnected, as per me, was humorous because of his presentation and delivery. I didn’t get the jokes – it was related to breakfast of Germany,probably boring and monotonic – but yet I could laugh and enjoy.) and while all this, other cast members were busy constructing some random objects – or so they seemed. At the culmination of the show the entire stage was full with those constructed objects – and looked quite chaotically beautiful –formed a part of chain-reaction setup (I found a name to this kind of setup -Rube Goldberg machine ) over the entire stage with all carefully planted objects – that it finally made sense. And that chain-reaction was brilliant too.

With all the plus, a minor grouse – at many times, so many things were happening in parallel on stage that I found it hard to switch eyes from one to anohter and had confusion where to look or what to concentrate on. Also, if only I could relate more to the dance , monologues.

In total, a performance, contemporary and unconventional, which was so full of energy and vibrant, which must be a result of tremendous effort and rehearsal – so much so that, it looked casual and informal – at a level it probably was informal and impromptu, brilliant dances/body movements to good range of music – such magnificant canvas and such art - the package created fans and deserved the repeated standing ovation it got from the audience.

Ps: If my writing is unstructured, grammatically incorrect, sentence formation confusing – good, I am currently influenced by the unconventional show and am on my way to do unconventional, chaotic perhaps, writing. To hell with editing and correction and all – I want to write free flow; but, to the extent that interested/curious reader must/will get the point.
Pps:
This is a famous video that shows Rube Goldberg Machine ..

Common Man – Theatre in “complete the story format”

For more reasons than one, this was a play I wanted to watch since long time – probably few months. And it was an evening well spent and memorable.

The common man is the central character of the play, as is obvious from the title of the play. The play is an attempt to see the world through the eyes of a normal person ..who is born and brought up in typical middle class family….follows a conventional path..attends an engg college…

He joins a workplace … is not the kind of person to resort to leg pulling or showing off ..or”chamcha” kind.. gets dominated and works extra time..he toils while others steal limelight and awards…

He marries in a conventional arranged marriage set up…is silent even when he is cheated..

He attends a self-help guru class…ends up failing even applying the lessons learnt…

And so on and so forth..just the common activities.. But what makes this story different is that, it simultaneously explores the insecurities and failings of the common man while at the same time, exposes the atrocities (if I can use the word) performed by other members around him. If colour could help theater, am sure the group would have put the common man in a black and white frame while other characters in colour. The very intent to downplay the character and the story, takes limelight. There lies the beauty of the this play.

At some juncture…when common man meets failures and dejection at every road..helplessness at every attempt..failure at every opportunity..despite his honest efforts…I was so moved…it was the point at which I became connected with the play..also to mention the stirring song “rasta kya chahe tujse…” And a scene where the umbrellas just suck the common man into them…there was no pre or post scene for this and it stand-alone stood perfect and complete.

The common man, as a cue from the common man of R K Laxman, here too never speaks. He is the silent spectator in every scene. Even when the scene is about him; about things affecting him – even then, he is the silent observer. And yet he leaps – he wishes to leap into a colorful world – beautifully portrayed at many places but at one particular scene of the movie shooting. The yearnings of the common man; the dreams of a common man – to somehow jump into the other side .. to somehow hog the limelight, to earn fame, money etc…the wishes of most common men .. was quite nicely – metaphorically captured in this scene remains unscathed in the memory.

So in an event that, he does manage to become famous…what happens next ? Do all his problems get solved..? after few scenes, the play stops and the audience is made responsible to suggest the continuation and ending.

The “identification” with the characters on screen assures the connectivity – or the striking the chord thing – which was evident in this play aplenty. Almost everyone said they identified with the common man – I was quite unhappy to see so many unsatisfied people. Haha, jokes apart, I did not “like/wish” to be identified with him. But for the aspirations, which find a commonality, I really do not want to dwell upon my life – am quite aware that it is very common, but I would like to leave it at it.

[As an aside -Also it is quite not-surprising how every one feels he is deprived of proper rewards for his efforts – for eg I see everyone being unsatisfied with their appraisals and read somewhere that every employee feels he is undervalued. Haha.]

Since I didn’t quite appreciate the audience’s thoughts, I will not go into detail but, the common man is given, after a suggestion from an elderly man, a moment of triumph. Didn’t I say, the yearning of common man was obvious in the common man of the audience too 

Ps: A child remarked, on asked what might happen to common man, said, “He would be shot by Kasab”. That thought, even now manages to send shivers down the spine. That one sentence speaks a lot to the fears and insecurities of the common man, the collective failure of the system, the role of media/society and not to forget – the unfortunate era we are living in.

Plus:

Coming to the other aspects of the play other than the story, in no order of importance :

1.

Singing and music : If one thing that made us keep going back to the play and think about it, even after a day of watching it , it was the soulful singing and music. It was just out of this world, refreshing and deliriously hummable. The silent guy sitting at the corner of the stage packed such energy and soul (have to use this word alone!), that whole auditorium was reverberating with his frequency. Not to forget the wonderful background music too – especially it came alive even during the audience suggested part of the play. It was a display of unbelievable synchronization between the team and backstage artists.
2.

Acting: Acting varied from good to excellent .. some of the acts were a real hit with the audience. The acting by the common man – who remained off colour when the entire other cast was hyperactive, was a superb act. Even though what I wrote about story was gloomy, the play was lot of fun. The parody, the satire, the sarcasm – and contributions from other characters in the play was quite funny. Leave aside all philosophical thoughts, all thought provoking ideas, this play is worth watching just for its gags.

3.

Usage of props and costumes : the simplicity of props usage and the costumes were very prominent. The ring for the award, the umbrella, dupattas etc.were nicely used!. To convey a message, only message is important, other things can be just formed in the mind – to help that formation the actors put up a brilliant setup. Though I didn’t give extra attention to lighting (there were so many new things to notice this time, unlike earlier times – more about it later), I felt it was apt at all places and very good at few.

4.

The good scenes in no order : the common man getting sucked into umbrella – that was poignantly brilliant. I was quite hit by the scene, got scared that I couldn’t quite immerse myself and started looking away. Life is scary and …err..that word…err …sucks. The other good ones were…the film shooting, the oshome swamy, the monologue of the wife, the high energy acts …

5.

Lastly, I like the spontaneity in which the performers picked up the story from the audience and performed fluently. There was no talk/preparation and somehow it just flowed. I knew this would be a complete the story format, but this continuation was more than I expected. Also, quite impressed by the concept

Minus:

1.

Audience immaturity. For many reasons, one of the vital parts of “complete the story” format should be audience. But I was disappointed by the continuation the audience suggested. For one, none were bothered about the whole picture, second they were happy to take minor digs. For example I can not approve of the wife eloping – it hardly made any sense or any continuity – it was just for the kicks ! And same with every character saying they were Amol – the name of the common man, which hardly made sense to me – even thinking philosophically. Agreed every man is a common man, yet, we were seeing him being portrayed by a central character ..
2.

Not doing the repeat endings is – though – good for the actors as it would be challenging, but for most of the audience it is the first viewing – so it is nice that they get a good ending being played. There may not be very good different endings after a few runs of the play.
3. The oshome oshome swami act, looked quite detached to the plot – though it was entertaining and it slightly connected back, it could have been short.
4. Some situations come back after common man becomes famous - like the award in office. I wished it happened to many other scenes - like common man visiting a shooting scene after he is a known face and everyone mobs him instead of giving attention to the stars. Or him visiting oshome ashram and people asking him questions by neglecting the swami.

Suggestions:

When I cringed about the maturity level of the audience and when I expressed my dissatisfaction about the ending suggested by audience , my friend quietly asked – you were a part of audience too, why didn’t you speak. This, I’ll explain in a bit, but hit me hard. Yes, I am a complaining person at times, just like many common people, pointing fingers at things, but not knowing solution by myself. “Not knowing solution” does not enfore that I “not see the problem” too. Also, some people are of opinion that if you are not able to create, you are not eligible to criticize – which in my opinion untrue – we all know ways even Tendulkar can improve but handed a bat, we may not even score a run. But that’s how we are

So long story short, coming back to why I did not try completing the story. Basically, I never jump ahead and give my opinions anytime but there was another significant observation I made – I could not get my thoughts together. I was still in the play mode, swallowing and digesting everything and suddenly lights on – audience feedback – people started suggestions and I started following them and I lost my trail.

Thus, when I looked back, I felt 2 minutes silence to the entire audience will help everyone get their thoughts together. It will help them put aside minor plot continuation to the larger picture – because I felt people were caught in developing the play scene by scene but they didn’t know where they were heading finally.

If I look back now, I guess if allowed to myself, I would complete it in no different way than what happened in real to the first KBC winner Harshavardhan Navathe : read long back that he became the victim of jealousy of his neighbors and on-goers who frequently damaged his car and what not. Can’t find such a source, however, found this

Asked out continuously to preside at several functions within and outside college at the behest of the authorities, Harsh was not able to complete the requisite attendance for his last semester - a fact that almost cost him his last term college, leading to severe depression.

By the time, he recovered, say our sources, he has crossed the age limit for taking the IAS exams, something he had set his heart on doing, and a fact he had openly admitted when he occupied the hot seat on KBC. A job in Mumbai later yielded the same problems that had plagued him when in college.

All said, the overall experience was a wonderful evening spent in Rangashankara. The story was moving..The play, the fun itself was entertaining….but also quite impressed with the concept of audience involvement, couldn’t help imagining the plots and endings that might be thrown up in different stories I have come across. I myself have frequently had problems with endings and had often wished, what if this, what if that..and it was so overwhelming (but difficult at the same time) when the power did come to the audience’s hands to continue…

Full disclosure: Yours Truly Theatre is a theatre group which is innovating in the forms and formats of theater - like the complete the story, and ‘yours truly’ (I!) has attended workshop conducted by them and have joined them.
Ps: Wondering if the innovation could be patented

Midnight Marathon

Anyways, coming to marathon..was quite confused what to eat, what to drink in the days just before marathon..also the amount of water to be consumed during runs..did lot of research..some a little too late..

However everything pointed to “what you are comfortable during your normal long run practices”..damn, I had just one long run. And, I had no different facility for that..i still ran around my usual field..I didn’t drink a drop of water till I came home..So I decided I will go without water for the same distance - around 15kms.

Also of another concern was the shoes..I read, we should have 2 size larger shoes as feet tends to expand…there was no way I could change my shoes that lately-which were perfect fit - not bigger. Also, frequent blisters and lost nails, when I ran long distance were of concern. Plus since it was midnight - different than my schedule..eating, sleeping..everything mattered ..or so I thought.

With some anxiety .. with excited family members… all went to the venue well in time…

and the run started….i had forgotten watch..which meant I had to ask time at various points..more about that later. So I started and kept at my usual pace..which by my calculation was between 7-8kms in an hour..the first half of the lap looked interesting..except for the fact that everyone seemed to overtake me some ran and walked..by which time if I had passed them, they again overtook me..hehe..so I just saw people going past me and despite my best efforts I seem to go very slow..which is happening in my life too currently.

i wondered at some people wearing jackets..i had already started sweating profusely…due to excitement..due to fear..due to running.

i saw people….elder to me..younger to me..faster than me..some slower than me..it felt good.

as i don’t listen to music, i let my train of thoughts run..and my mind..circled the same old things..recalled happenings in last years..thought of dreams..past..future..past..future.

i observed one thing apart from my pace which i felt was slower than my usual …the surface..the tar surface clearly notified the difference..i usually run comfortably in normal ground..on mud..but this was hard.HARD.

instead of taking water from volunteers i asked time..one of the volunteers turned his glass of water he had held to offer, to see the time..that classical practical joke ..hehe..i felt bad and after that made sure i asked time to other people instead of those holding water cups..

i had roughly finished 5.5 kms at 12:45 ..45 minutes..which more or less was my pace..felt comfortable..kept the same pace..much before finishing first half, few probably Kenyans and few Indians had already started back..saw them on the way..roughly guessed their speed must be twice of mine..which means they might finish in less than 90 minutes..which is not heard of I thought..so the speed might get lower further down..

so wanted to pick up pace…but didn’t want to burn out..so i kept running at my pace..

and my train of thoughts at its pace..

the night marathon …(as against what i read about ultra) is boring in that, it is dark everywhere..nothing to see..

i finished first lap…it felt good…i asked time..it was 1:30 ..45 minutes..ah..what consistency…

and as expected, the fast runners were on their 4th half..end of second lap..double my speed..

i during my normal practice runs…run continuously..not run, jog actually…but never walk..i have read many run-walk-run rules ..but i can’t keep count or follow it..because after walking, i feel lazy to jog again..

so i kept the same mindset here..not going to walk until i have finished at least my maximum distance covered or more than that…which was 15 or more..so 3 halves…

after sometime i asked time..i was told 1:15…clearly some where it was wrong..so i lost track of time..

so i kept jogging..but this third half was the longest…the end didn’t come at all…after half of it ( which is like 13.5kms) i was very tired..but i didnt want to stop or drink water till i finished the lap..

but i could not complete 3rd half..almost at end, i drank water…walked a little..stretched a bit…bent … took a leak…and then proceeded..i felt better..i guess i should have taken water little earlier..it gave me good feeling..

i tried to smile at people on the sides…like those security guards..or supporters..some smiled back and encouraged…but some guards looked puzzled..but i like to smile at random strangers and observe their reaction..hehe…so i continued to smile at people..

now started drinking water little regularly..yet i took care not to over do it..but now i was entering into new distance…so no previous experience to follow..not sure if i can just expect to extend my body behaviour …

i asked time..at the end of 3rd half..it was 2 !! there was no way i had run 3rd half faster than the earlier two…damn, my time track was waste..why did i forget watch…

if i thought 3rd half was longer,never ending… 4th i knew would stretch to an eternity.. but i just wanted to finish it..not back out in between…in googlegroup, i was told “run,walk,limp,crawl…but finish that line and be happy that you did it..” that was only my motto..now i had become lazy to jog..and even if i did jog, i was so so so slow, slower than slow motion, despite the fact that i did jog, i was slower than those who walked..

now even my train of thoughts deserted me…i didnt know what was happening..i just wanted to finish..that smile too deserted me..i didnt become hopeful of finishing sooner as i had hoped in 3rd half..i knew the end might come after eternity..so mentally kept telling me lot more lot more distance to cover, but deep inside hoped, somewhat magically the end would appear just then…this again, i do in my life..i keep my expectations low only to make myself happy … but as these days, even low expectations are being turned into disappointments..so it happened here, my magical end line, didnt arrive, a second sooner against my deep hearted wish..wishes, i tell you.

i felt comfortable walking..i felt bad that almost whole 6.5 or more i would be walking…much more than my target…probable reasons could be slower pace…also night food…or tar surface..or something else….

i observed people…as i do every where..some were really enjoying..especially those who had company…they chatted and sang…and jogged together…to watch a couple put steps(speed) perfectly in syc with each other was a beautiful sight..wavelength i guess

now along with time, i also started asking distance remaining…at one point i was told 2:30 and 2.5kms remaining..so i felt comfortable i might make it within 3 hours ..

i decided to ask distance much later..and after walking what i considered a long walk, i enquired..it was 2kms pending…i was disappointed…if that much distance covered was just .5 km, i dreaded to think further…

i tried to finish this thing fast and tried to start slow jogging…but now, the left muscle had pulled…it was paining little…i did some stretches…but i realized if i jog, it gives time to pull and hence pain..

at one point i almost wanted to stop..not because of tiredness - i didnt get tired..just was pained.. i wanted to stop because the boredom had hit me again…this lack of motivation, again as in my life, is leaving me clueless..

but stopping too would pain the leg due to muscle pull..now i realized the importance of warm up or stretches before the run..

so there i was, i could not jog..i could not stop…so there was nothing i could do but to walk…i HAD to walk..whether or not i like it. haha. problem solved.

now distance or time did not matter…because i knew, i just had to go whatever..there was no way i could quit after having come this long..and out of curiosity i asked distance..he said, just here half km…he was encouraging me or motivating me i felt..

now again, i observed lot of people went past me..some of them might be from next race too…i hate to be overtaken..

i started to feel very hungry too…thought if i could somehow grab a sandwich (no idea why sandwich..)

i decided to consider it more than half…but hoped inside, that it could really be half km….but as usual, i was disappointed..the half km never seemed to get over..it felt more than the entire 3rd half !!

i realized..i was not tired…i was just plain pained…(or am i differentiating the same thing)…point was, only legs were paining and refusing to move..but entire body and mind was willing…it almost felt like being chained up in a restricted body…

now with no train of thoughts, no smile, with no option but to walk, irrespective of distance or time..i kept walking..walked a little with closed eyes too…felt good. mind, sight everything was blank.(except one thought..)

also at this crucial junxture i promised myself a Chocolate fantasy if i finished this…aaah….not exactly motivation, cos there was nothing i could do -with or without motivation - but to walk..but a feel-good thought..

and finally i saw the crowd… i kept hejje-mele-hejje(foot upon foot) and proceeded..i saw someone munching something yummy in the spectator line..i looked at him ..he said “So you finished!” …i said “Yeah!!”.. what a feeling. feel it to know it.

now i cared not for the timing but for academic interest or to improve it next time, or if i was the last..i saw the digital clock..it looked 3:02..or it could be little more, not sure..(my next target is to reduce this to at least 2:30 .. and keep doing 2-3 half marathons a year…yeah, not even planning full marathon..)

Just to convince myself, I wanted to look behind if someone was left ..but then I smiled at myself. It didnt matter. I had finished..well..and sound enough..thats all mattered. i wasn’t as broken as i had expected to be..

A halt to look behind, but dismissing that thought, smiling and moving ahead with an accomplished feeling…can’t express it in words.

(And that of chocolate fantasy too…is beyond words…and the train of thoughts too.)

“Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the lion or it will not survive. Every morning a lion wakes up and it knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It doesn’t matter if you are the lion or the gazelle, when the sun comes up, you better be running.”

(at some place credited to Maurice Greene..at other to anon). (Though there are better running quotes, I like this one..because it is not about running ..he he. )

Time has come to make a mention of one of the things I mentioned in an earlier post

And there were a couple of important things(1,2,3) which I will write in separate posts sometime later.

So I have been jogging on and off since October 2007 ..discontinued till January..again ran till March ..again became irregular. I had a target of running marathon - or rather wish, not a goal… So much off-hand wish that I did not even know the distance covered in a marathon and how much I was running. On first week of May 2008, I realized some marathon is just 20 days away..and I realized I need more than a month practice to hit those kilometers.

And, in addition, I sprained my knee during badminton games. Badly. The knee which was quite badly sprained many times all these years, cried more this time. Many visits to doctors happened. 2 of 3 suggesting an operation which I do not want to undergo - no matter how safe and how required it is. May be foolish stubbornness, but thats how I am.

In between again I became little serious about running. Now, I calculated the distance I ran continuously - as against my walk-jog or walk routine. I ran out of breath in 2kms. What?! Yes, 2 kms.

May had gone behind..next I remembered there was one in November.

All this while I ‘thought’ marathon would be just 10-15 kms & full to be around 21kms..I found out full marathon is 26 miles and half would still be 13 miles - that is around 21kms. 10 times the distance I ran out of breath !!

It seemed unsurmountable. Then was the wake up time, to do lot of research..also does not make sense to keep a target too high and feel bad not having reached it. My rough goal was to run a marathon in 2008..without knowing what distance. Ha ha. And now I also have to keep my knee in mind.

Now the same 2km after which I had ran out of breath, looked too small against what I needed to achieve. So, in a way, it is just a mental block and proper motivation or direction. However, I reduced my target to do just a 10km continuous before year end. That seemed gettable.

From 2km,increased to 3 in a week. 5km in another week. 8km next and a few days later 10km. Yeah, it felt good. Great. Now with 10km under me, I wanted to go higher..but knee.

But still, it was a very good feeling to start with 2km and increase upto 10km in a month’s time !!

[Long time ago, our lunch time conversation were usually one pal talking about his number of his jogging rounds..so much pissed off I was with his repeated talk about jogging that we named him jagger. But now I was exactly doing the same..boasting to anyone whom I met explaining my running and its progress - surely giving a complex to them. Haha, first time in my life I enjoyed my ego and was happy about it. All because, in a way, it was giving back to them who had earlier made fun of me. He he.]

I wanted to consult a doc who is specialist in knee as well as about running. Via SwaroopCh, I found a perfect doctor Dr Rajat, who himself has run 100kms in previous ultra.

Thankfully, he didn’t insist on operation, there by making me feel vindicated about my judgment/preference. But he also cautioned against running too much without strength/workout exercises.

Bought running shoes, most expensive ones I ever invested in.

Just around the corner was Ultra and I despite wanting to participate, felt low on confidence to run 21. But after reading through the experiences, I felt I really missed something. I could have ran at least one lap of 13 kms.

Next one was Bangalore Midnight marathon around Dec 13..thought of giving it a try half-heartedly.. but had very less practise..luckily the marathon got postponed and got scheduled to Jan 10th…now I decided to give it a try no matter what.I regularly ran around 30-40kms per week with exercise and rest days included in the week.

I once touched 15km - around 100 minutes of running. And felt satisfied. And bored. Bored of running alone. Bored of not listening to music or something like that.(I dont listen to music for some lame reason) Bored of running circles in the same ground,same surrounding looks. ( I just stuck to my previous running ground/field so that I know the distance properly). Even though I had fuel for few more, I just stopped after 15km.

Now I was skeptical about my ability to run the full distance..and hence asked on runnersforlife google group whether I could walk half the distance. Just to make sure I am not odd man out.

And finally, on Jan 10th, I ran midnight marathon. I waited to finish something before posting about my good adventure so far.

So I ran. I completed. More about it in next post.(I know half-marathon is NO big deal…see below).

Meanwhile here are two things I kept reminding myself.
1. Key to life
2. Team Hoyt

Dick and Rick Hoyt are a father-and-son team from Massachusetts who together compete just about continuously in marathon races. And if they’re not in a marathon they are in a triathlon — that daunting, almost superhuman, combination of 26.2 miles of running, 112 miles of bicycling, and 2.4 miles of swimming. Together they have climbed mountains, and once trekked 3,735 miles across America.

It’s a remarkable record of exertion — all the more so when you consider that Rick can’t walk or talk.

For the past twenty five years or more Dick, who is 65, has pushed and pulled his son across the country and over hundreds of finish lines. When Dick runs, Rick is in a wheelchair that Dick is pushing. When Dick cycles, Rick is in the seat-pod from his wheelchair, attached to the front of the bike. When Dick swims, Rick is in a small but heavy, firmly stabilized boat being pulled by Dick.

From:

There have been may struggles along the way beyond the heart attack that Dick suffered. Dick had to have knee surgery when he twisted it initially in a race and again while trying to evacuate Rick when a hotel fire alarm went off. A tree went through the roof of Dick’s house and within a few short months Rick’s van broke down (the chair lift broke).

Ps: My resolution of not being verbose just gone to wind ? No time..this is single-write, no proof read, no edit..hell not even spell check.

Years ago, I used to do yearly goal setting and appraisal of the same (2005, 2006, 2007). Somehow, last year there was a lull on this blog. Not that there was nothing to say, but time whizzed past me.¹. But yes, nothing much happened in 2008.

Time flies. Almost every month of the las years are photographically in front of me.

Went on fewer tours than ever, watched perhaps fewer movies/plays, read hardly any books,took fewer photos, wrote fewer blog posts. Feeling sad that did not write the reviews to all the plays I watched at RS, something I wanted to do.

Met fewer friends or relatives, but yes attended a series of functions/engagements/weddings. Almost weekly, for few months.

Sprained my knee (which has been abused by me for many years now and many sprains) and 2 of 3 doctors suggested an operation. In an unrelated separate consulting, a specialist trivialized my existence (well almost to that effect).

Nothing was done towards maintenance of this blog.

So where did my time go ? Travel to office eats up 3 hours of my daily life, an hour or so goes away in reader and other browsing. Weekend goes just like that. Time flies I tell ya.

On positives, bought a car.
Played around with beard styles
Attended french class.
Joined YT workshop.(Lots to talk about the experience..)
Gave a try at Nokia Design Challenge

And yeah, Talked A LOT. Wrote a LOT. Chatted(im) a LOT. Browsed a LOT.

Time flies.

And there were a couple of important things(1,2,3) which I will write in separate posts sometime later.

Resolutions (yeah not goals):

1. At least 3 ..no 2 no, at least ONE post a week .Fortnight Month. There are many random thoughts to blurt out, and if nothing else, could use this space as a journal.
2. Be less verbose
3. Be less expressive.

There are some goals I want to internalize but don’t know how far I will succeed, not particular to the year but to forever is that :

• Measure everything. Measure,measure,measure. ( Everything ..time spent, money spent, eating ..everything.)
• Prioritize things/people.

Wish…
My only wish…is that my next year post should not be so mediocre like this..it should have some nice things, significant happenings in my life this year. [actually There are two things I could have wished..and those have been wished at every star-falling, at every eyelash-uff-ing, so am quite sure those will not happen ]

And finally, Thanks to everyone who have made my 2008 memorable.

[1]It feels just yesterday that previous new year was here. I still have a ‘draft’ post HNY08 with a review and goal setting..and some photos of corn²
[2]Most notable thing about 2007³ was that I ate sweetcorn as much as twice or thrice the sweet corn I must have eaten all my previous years put together. In contrast, in 2008, it was a total NILL.
[3]Most important happening of 2007 was a dream US tour..the only tour I didn’t write a log of, much as I wished to. It was a dream tour and a lifetime memory. Some memories

It is an entirely heart warming movie. It is lovable because of its simplicity in presentation, complexity of emotions, natural human insecurities and above all a different kind of humour – that looks underplayed but is sure to catch you smiling.

Having all those, the presentation, wonderful scenery of Mauritius’ locales, just-right performances by everyone, smart-jolly dialogs etc, would not have mattered if it didn’t have a, an equally heart warming but not a very straight, simple love story, that is quite involving.

It is about the change of heart and the torn between emotions. The development of the story, events and a good depiction of the same – especially the torn emotions, with decent humour gives the movie a good balance.

Many dialogs cracked me up …and some of them were not meant to – like when Sanjay says “Are tum to mere shaadi mein aya tha”.

As in some movies, your heart goes out to every character. I wonder if anyone could be as cool as cucumber like Boman Irani’s character. But there sure are quite a many annoying-at-the-outset but warm and loving moms like Shabana’s character. Also there are quite a few guys like Harshvardhan - Sanjay Suri’s character, who has got their priorities misplaced. Nothing wrong with that, but when it starts affecting other people, it is high time to make mends.

The chemistry between Boman-Shabana reminded Honeymoon Express Pvt Ltd.

Alia(beautiful Chitrangda Singh) is a typical confused girl who is torn between her wishes, her career and a undeserved faith/loyalty in a relation that was surviving only for survival’s sake, much after the fire had been extinguished. The see-saw confusions of this character are wonderfully displayed.

And there is Sid(Sharman Joshi), who is immediately lovable as a character with his forgetfulness, no-frills simple character who is just involved in his own world. Not to say, he is any less in emotions, he packs quite a bit and tender to everyone and vice-versa, very typical of an younger son! Its hard not to like this character.

There were some eccentricities like maa-kasam or the stockmarket crash affecting marriage next day, but it works out nice at the end.

I can’t resist wondering the treatment the subject would have got in the hands of SLB (he would have made it unbelievably melodramatic) or Bhatt camp ( Emran Hashmi smooching away and a drunken-drug addict Kangana, plus lot of bed scenes).

It is interesting to note the planting of crucial elements early in the movie, but not very prominently and its recurring. For example, the maa kasam was there in first few scene, and (in the same scene) Harsh recieves a call of Marco. Or even the occurance of a live-in. Or the concerns of Sid about her studies/career in unassuming scenes. Or a mama’s boy image thrown in.

It was only right, if not natural, that she finds her interest shifted to a person who tastes matched with hers (jazz for eg), whose priorities match her needs etc. After all, what’s love and relationship if it sapped the energy and worked against the daily life,is one way, instead of fuelling and enriching life.

(Also on 70mm

I know it does not make sense, but dedicated to Diva.

Song here.
Beladingalante

ಬೆಳದಿಂಗಳಂತೆ ಮಿನುಮಿನುಗುತ
ಬೆಳಕಾಗಿ ಬಂದಿರಲು ನೀನು
ಅನುರಾಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಳೆ ಹೊಳೆಯುತ
ನಸು ನಾಚಿ ನಿಂತಿರಲು ನೀನು
ಮರುಳಾದೆ ದಿವ್ಯ ಸಖಿ ನಿನಗೆ ಪ್ರಣಾಮ
ಅಪರೂಪ ರೂಪಸಿಯೆ ನಿನಗೆ ಪ್ರಣಾಮ

ಕನಸಲ್ಲು ಹುಚ್ಚ ನಂತೆ ನಿನಗಾಗಿ ಓಡುವೆ
ಮೈ ಮರೆತು ಸಂತೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ನಿನ್ನನ್ನೇ ಕೂಗುವೆ

ಒರಗಿರಲು ನಿನ್ನ ಮಡಿಲಲಿ

ಕಾಗದದ ದೋಣಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಡಲನ್ನು ದಾಟುವೆ
ಗಂಧರ್ವ ಸೀಮೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಉಯ್ಯಾಲಿ ಜೀಕುವೆ

ನೀನೀರಲು ನನ್ನ ಕಥೆಯಲ್ಲಿ
ನಾನಿರುವೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆಯಲಿ

ಬೆಳದಿಂಗಳಂತೆ ಮಿನುಮಿನುಗುತ
ಬೆಳಕಾಗಿ ಬಂದಿರಲು ನೀನು
ಅನುರಾಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಳೆ ಹೊಳೆಯುಟ
ನಸು ನಾಚಿ ನಿಂತಿರಲು ನೀನು
ಮರುಳಾದೆ ದಿವ್ಯ ಸಖಿ ನಿನಗೆ ಪ್ರಣಾಮ
ಅಪರೂಪ ರೂಪಸಿಯೆ ನಿನಗೆ ಪ್ರಣಾಮ

ಮನಸೋಟೆ ಮೋಹಿತನೆ ನಿನಗೆ ಪ್ರಾಣಮ
ಹಿತವಾದ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತನೆ ನಿನಗೆ ಪ್ರಾಣಾಮ

ನೀನರಲು ನನ್ನ ಜೊತೆಯಲಿ

ಕಣ್ತುಂಬ ನಿನ್ನ ಅಂದ ಸವಿಯುತ್ತಾ ಕೂಡಲೇ
ಕಂಡಿದ್ದು ನಿಜವೇ ಅಂತ ಮುತ್ತಿಟ್ಟು ನೋಡಲೇ
ನೀನೀರಲು ನನ್ನ ತೊಳಲೀ

ನಾನಿಂದು ನೋಡದಂತ ಬೆಳಕೊಂದು ಮೂಡಿದೆ
ನಿನಗಸ್ಟೇ ಕೇಳುವಂತೆ ಮನಸಿಂದು ಹಾಡಿದೆ

ಕೈ ಇರಲು ನಿನ್ನ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ
ನಾನಿರುವೆ ನಿನ್ನ ಬಾಳಲಿ

[Effort: Almost 1 man day including break and meetings. Used quillpad.in, not very much impressed as corrections are really difficult. It does a close and good approximation but when the approximation is not what I wanted, it is hell to get the right thing. ]

Ps: This is a must listen song from Psycho, the music review of which I had long intended to do. Guess will let it pass.

Tried an English translation of Rock on song Tum Ho To Gaata hai dil.
Original lyrics from Gr8lyrics

Tum Ho Toh - Rock On!!

Tum Ho To Gaata Hai Dil , If you are here, my heart sings..
Tum Nahin To Geet Kahan, If you are not here, where is the song ?.
Tum Ho To Hai Sab Haasil, If you are are here, everything is possible.
Tum Nahin To Kya Hai Yahan If you are not here, what is here ?
Tum Ho To Hai Sapno Ke Jaisa Haseen Ek Sama If you are here, each moment is like a dream.
Jo Tum Ho To Yeh Lagta Hai Ke Mil Gayi Har Khushi if you are here, it seems I have all the happiness
Jo Tum Na Ho Yeh Lagta Hai Ke Har Khushi Mein Hai Kami If you are not here, it seems, every happiness is incomplete.
Tumko Hai Maangti Yeh Zindagi…..My life wants you.

Ooooooooo..Ooooooo….Ooooooo

Tum Ho To Raahen Bhi Hai, If you are here, there are many ways..
Tum Nahin To Rasthey Kahan if you are not here, where is the road.
Tum Ho To Yahan Sab Hi Hai, If you are here, everything is here..
Tum Nahin To Kaun Yahan if you are not here, then who is here ?
Tum Ho To Hai Har Ek Pal Meharbaan Yeh Jahaan If you are here, then every moment in life is a pleasure/gift.(needs improvement?)
Jo Tum Ho To Hawa Mein Bhi Mohabbat Ka Rang Hai if you are here, there is color of love in the air too..
Jo Tum Na Ho To Phir Koi Na Josh Na Umang Hai if you are not here, there is no enthusiasm, no wish.
Tum Mile To Mili Yeh Zindagi If I get you, I get this life.

Ooooooooo..Ooooooo….Ooooooo
**
Felt so much like “if/else” construct in coding

**

Rock On:
[Full of spoilers..][Absolutely no time to form grammatic sentences or even to spell check]
I watched this trailer during the interval of Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na..and the feel good factor that time itself had rubbed off on Rock on. Also, Farhan Akthar..the man who would have been remembered and revered by me even if had stopped making after just one movie - DCH - which still ranks at the top of my favorite movies, the name itself was enough to ensure I watch the movie. It does not matter that he was not the director - in fact when I had seen him first in a interview post DCH, I wondered why is this guy not a hero by himself - and here he was again in what looked like a boy-theme, boy-bonding movie, a reason enough to appreciate it

What a man this Farhan is. There is no sign he is debuting to acting. His screen presence, his ability to look convincing in both outfits - super rich-successful-investment banker in suit, as well as passed-out-of-college rock star boy - with curly long hair, hair band and tshirts. He wrote dialogues for the movie..acted as lead..played guitar..and sang 5 out of 7 songs !! Aamir Khan..finally a worthy competitor to you, on the grounds of all rounding..!

I was convinced with Farhan’s acting..he is convincing in both carefree behavior and as a man with hidden pain. Perhaps he might not try other kind of roles but it would be interesting to see him in some conventional roles..

And as his partner…Prachi..what elegance..what poise…and what a character..instead of normal heroines who whine once they realize their partner’s hidden past..this lady makes no fuss…does not even blame..instead silently tries to help him.

What a house they have…damn investment banking..here I come…

It is interesting to note that…its men who carry the burden of past and are unable to move forward…where as the girls..be it Farhan’s girlfriend..who cooly says “I realized he wasnt bad…”and just moves on…or be it Debby..who despite all negatives, just moves on..

Dumping of farhan’s girlfriend is one of the most senseless and cruel things to have happened in the movie…may be just next to the brain tumor..For no fault of hers..she is ditched..she is dumped without any clue..poor girl..i hate when professional things affect personal relation..even the other way should not happen but then it is plausible ..

how the separation could be more poignant..from the first or second scene it is known that something went wrong..though the alternate flashback and current happenings kept the interest (why was i reminded of memento)..the “BIG” turning moment was not compelling enough..it looked very requirement driven..ok a break up has to happen..so lets make it..

and same thing applies to the brain tumour…well..it adds the required masala and helps tears…it wasnt quite essential..(other than that, it was required for the final show..otherwise arjun ramphal’s absense could have canceled their show..)

the ending ..explaining how their lives changed after that wasnt that necessary..movie took itself too seriously at that point..we all know it is a movie…the rock show on stage must have been ideally the last scene..who cares how they lived after ..when no importance was shown how they came together..climax looked too dreamy..explaining the death, the success of other characters that i half wished it was true story somehow..otherwise, who cares..

supporting cast..purab kohli..ramphal..koel..shahana..prachi..all pitch in perfectly…after farhan, prachi..i guess its shahana who left a better impression..her character is quite solid too…

Papa Akthar has let his hair down for the lyrics…looks like he was tired of all political correctness or sensibility that is demanded and was waiting to throw up some nonsense..like he had done in “Strawberry ankhen” in Sapnay..best part is it is easily passed off as “required” for the script..but still i stop to wonder..when i hear “zahreele zahreele…Kaale Neele Peele” which almost sounds like “paani peele peele”!![which, by the way is a very good advice..]..even “do aur do kyuon paanch nahin” and asking audience to ponder about it as if it is the biggest mystery…haha..but he aces in the slow song phir dekhiye..or my more favorite “tum ho to”

music…oh SEL ..good music…somehow i didnt like them before watching movie..once it grew on me in the hall..now i like them all..and surprisingly paani peele peele is also a favorite !

Oh..i can not complete this without comparisons to DCH ..it is obvious though unnecessary…I feel Farhan in his personal life must have had a spat with his close friend…and then they patched up later..(he is so young that,it may not be true..)..but this theme predominately reverbates in DCH and here…
Also..that lonliness…that separation from his wife..immediately reminded me of Tanhai song..
Oh yeah..dont know if someone realized..there is a small reference to DCH ( or it might be just me !!)..that when Farhan is being described by his friends ..they say..”he would impromptu ask us to drive to Goa..without preparation” or something on those lines..it must be a small tribute to DCH..or may be Farhan is like that which is reflected
And the ending..how a character dies of illnes…or the part after it showing all lead happy lives now..similar to DCH climax..

the friendship..the mature love …the comedy ( the few scenes are there brings good laughs…like the garbaraas song of “saason ki jaroorat” is a master piece..imagine giving Anu Malik a guest appearance and making fun of his song itself…even he is made to look like his joker-self…self referential humour is touching new highs..)..music…drama (brain tumour is enough..though there are many others..)…highs (those rock shows and that victory..and that reunion..that chasing dream…)..terrific acting…good dialogues…this is a complete package..

All said and done…as a movie i liked this one..infact it would find a place in my all time favorites..and would stand atop for this year with jaane tu..but ..as realizing dreams..or as going after heart…i am not very motivated..i mean..its a movie..temporary suspension of disbelief..most if not all normal people have unrealized dreams..and would be stuck in a job that is not motivating them…and it would touch all their chords..as if everyone likes to identify..and the emotional bonding developed, it is difficult to realize, it is just a dreamy movie..

To Diva.
**
If Abou Ben Adhem poem is slightly changed to mean about two lists, I know I am not on one list but I feel I would be on the top of the second.But you’ll never know.

Sour grapes is positive attitude(optimism).

Get busy living or get busy dying

Any person who calls himself at least half a movie buff would definitely have seen this movie. And most probably it would be in his top of his favorite movies list. Yet, I was zero biased when I started to watch and to say I was overwhelmed at the end of it is an understatement.

It starts off with one of the protagonists Andy ( according to me there are three important characters ) is tried and sent to a jail (named Shawshank) under the offense of killing his wife and her friend, but he is innocent. In jail he makes friendship with Red who is also serving life time.

There are those sadists and jail goons who unnecessarily insult and thrash Andy, who tries his best to stand up and fight but is always beaten up. Meanwhile in one of the best scenes, Andy using his banking knowledge, offers to help one of the officers to save money. In return he asks beer for his co-workers. In this one master stroke act, he not only wins friends, but also gains recognition as a guy who could do with banking and finance. Also, the officers, when the goons beat him up again, thrash the goons and reduce them to utter pitiable bodies.

There is another librarian, who after serving for 40 years is let free. The scene in which he wants to kill another prisoner, just so that he stays in jail, afraid of the life outside is a very touchy scene. He is set free and unable to cope up life outside jail, he kills himself.

Red is slowly becoming what he so clearly understands – institutionalized. After spending, so many years within the walls, he realizes there is nothing he could do outside even if he is let go. He slowly gives up hope.

Meanwhile, Andy is so silent. He gets promoted from laundry to assist librarian, does tax work, he teaches a new prisoner to pass his exam, he even manages the records of Warden and cover his financial scams. He also gets the clue to who had killed his wife, for which he is serving in jail, but warden prevents the case get any further. 20 years pass hence.

But he does not give up, he has a goal – an immediate one was to survive prison, long term is the life after prison. He plans to get out of prison and achieve them. How he achieves forms the surprise and is the beauty of the movie.

There is this scene which is one of my favorites – Andy plays the opera music to the whole of jail through the speakers which is meant only to give orders. He knows he would get punished or ill-treated for it, but he does not care. All jail inmates feel happy for a minute hearing to the song, and Andy sits silently there. Even when warden threatens to open up the door, Andy ignores and sits silently, allowing the music to go on for a little while more.

Another interesting lesson is in the perseverance Andy demonstrates – he keeps writing a letter each week to get grants for the library and finally after getting fed up of his letters they agree to give one time grant and send over many books. Not very satisfied, Andy plans to increase the frequency of letters asking for more !!

It is slow, but likable in a vague way. There are sequences which absolutely mean nothing to the story and there are sequences which look trivial but add up to a grand plan at the end. And at the end, I was left gaping.

No wonder it has been rated in top films even among top spiritually significant films.

Some dialogs are excellent :

The funny thing is, on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.

He’s just institutionalized…The man’s been in here fifty years, Heywood, fifty years. This is all he knows. In here, he’s an important man, he’s an educated man. Outside he’s nothin’ - just a used-up con with arthritis in both hands. Probably couldn’t get a library card if he tried…these walls are funny. First you hate ‘em, then you get used to ‘em. Enough time passes, it gets so you depend on ‘em. That’s ‘institutionalized’…They send you here for life and that’s exactly what they take, the part that counts anyway.

I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don’t want to know. Some things are better left unsaid. I’d like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can’t be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was as if some beautiful bird had flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free.

My wife used to say I’m a hard man to know. Like a closed book. Complained about it all the time. She was beautiful. God, I loved her. I just didn’t know how to show it, that’s all. I killed her, Red. I didn’t pull the trigger, but I drove her away and that’s why she died - because of me, the way I am.

Philosophy other than movie :

The movie, at its face value, is as excellent as it could get . It has a good story, good performances and well written. The cruelty invoke pity from the audience, the surprise elements leave the audience speechless and mouth open in awe for a minute. But for me the take away from the movie, is “hope”. I enjoy the movie while watching for what it is, but when I go over it again and again, when I munch over it, I draw extensions, I draw comparisons…and thats when I probably come to a better conclusion whether movie was really worth the time or not.

This movie could possibly be summarized in that one great dialogue Randy says to Red “Get busy living or get busy dyin.”. For 20 years, he hasn’t lost the hope and he was reconstructing his life. Silently, persistently.

Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.

That’s TWENTY years and I am always just too eager to give up ! I get frustrated , disappointed very fast. Many of us are all in our own dungeon and after a certain time we give up.

There are three different mentalities depicted nicely in three characters..one who has given up..one who is confused but is moving towards giving up ..and the one who holds up.

From

Since people call on hope in circumstances ranging from those where one has much control over matters to those where one can do nothing but expect outside influences to help, Andy’s use of “hope” is ambiguous. That is because given Andy’s basic circumstances, it may appear he’s invoking the latter meaning of “hope” — that is, he can do nothing but expect that his innocence will somehow, someday be revealed and he’ll be set free by these influences outside his control. However, as evidenced by Andy’s characterization prior to this scene, “hope” to him means the belief that the good, such as freedom, has a chance of being achieved, but such a chance can really only arise through one’s rational thought and actions

Whether or not Andy succeeded in achieving his freedom, it is his fundamental view of life, one which refuses to resign to hopelessness in the face of evil, that makes The Shawshank Redemption a great, heroic work of art.

Tagline of the movie goes “Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.” And it definitely does not just mean about prison. It is the principle one should adapt towards any helpless, any hopeless situations in life – it does not or need not solve the problems, need not show the solutions, but at least it makes it easier to breathe.

PS: Kashmir Singh (who got released from jail after 35 years) said “Hope kept me alive”.

During the hardware(electronics/communication) related lab in college, a guy who used to assist us with components, would always remain optimistic and say “maadi maadi, output barutte”. Without coming to our place, without checking the circuit (may be he had that much confidence on our rigging up of circuits), without biasing students, his reply remained same. His confidence, his optimism, his hope were more than that of us and was surprising.Even when we panic, he was always calm and composed in his reply. Never got angry or irritated, he always gave his standard reply with smile.

With no way out, I used to come back and check everything again, and sometimes need to correct something and sometimes output just used to come by itself. I always felt, I could have done this myself without first going to him asking for help.

I always recall this whenever/just before I need to seek help. Whenever I am disappointed and ready to give up, I recall this. “maadi maadi, output barutte”. That brings back optimism!

Ps:On a lighter vein, I got so used to the pattern, try-does not work-go to him-come back-it works, that many times I immediately at the beginning itself went to him and complained it does not work and then come and gave a honest try.

You know what?

Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work… Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I’ll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
Frank: You know Marcel Proust?
Dwayne: He’s the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he’s also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh… he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you’re 18… Ah, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.

Olive: Grandpa, am I pretty?
Grandpa: You are the most beautiful girl in the world.
Olive: You’re just saying that.
Grandpa: No! I’m madly in love with you and it’s not because of your brains or your personality.

Sarcasm is the refuge of losers.

Inside each and everyone of you, deep inside the core of your being is a winner waiting to be awakened and unleashed upon the world.

Losers are people who are so afraid of not winning, they don’t even try.

- Little Miss Sunshine

• Expected the movie to be funny/sweet for some unknown reason.
• Kept waiting for some twist that could make it look like all good. But it keeps going, like real life, and all characters meet failures. That is at the end did I realize, this movie is really about majority normal life- where no miracles seem to happen, where no dreams get fulfilled, where failure is to be accepted.
• ‘Be there till the end’[& finally you loose though], did sound like a distant lesson to be taken away.
• Loved the vehicle and its tantrums! It felt like it too was a character of the movie (a failure too!)

Ok, let the generalized title not misguide you. This post is about Kajol and U me aur hum by a fan and I will not pretend otherwise.

Reading reviews of movies that contain Kajol is always rewarding irrespective of whether it is a postive review for a movie or a negative. Especially (bad) movies like Fanaa and U Me Aur Hum are real treats !

Because a positive review for movies like these is always surprising and though personally smirk invoking, I like the feeling of a positive review or long run of the movie for obvious reasons. Secondly because these movies generated lot of noise and created lot of hype and attention - and none,beware, was just for the presence of the actress - finally it is Kajol who gets credit and attention ! (Even all her initial movies attracted attention not because of her presence but due to others, and then she is used to have the last laugh, bowling over and shadowing others at the end.) Positive reviews also dont fail to mention how Kajol adds/contributes to it.

When there are negative reviews, it is even more happiness-inducing because when there is so much dark and disappointing stuff around, the brilliance of Kajol comes across easily and gets highlighted. Of course, there is quite something for a fan to munch on! And it is such a joy when someone newly becomes a fan!

Let me link to few reviews:

Was very surprised to see such positive take by B Rangan ( my views are usually a scaled down version of his views - if he, say rates, 100, I rate 20..if he rates -100, I rate -60 ) ..but this one is opposite on sign itself. The only thing I probably agree with him is the nod to the presence of song “Saiyyan..”.

This is a review thoroughly enjoyed. I see eye to eye with him on various factors like about the nonsense friends, about the futile suspense attempt of child drowning and agree with almost every word of what he says. Only sad feeling is, he hasn’t any praising words about Kajol.

More links:

Kajol has done the best she can to get us involved with her situation despite the lack of depth writer, Ajay Devgan, etches out for her. Though she does get to her shrill self every once in a while. But I’m still miffed by the short hand she has been dealt.

Without giving the movie away

On the other hand, Kajol is brilliant. I didn’t quite realize that she was this fabulous. Even when she is lost, or screeching, or struggling to remember the smallest of things - you don’t cringe. But there are other parts of this film that are very cringe-worthy.
[...]
There are a few tense moments in the film. Kajol rules them all. Ajay Devgan is a mere prop in this film.

Within / Without

Kajol is the show-stealer; the film completely belongs to her! Even in the presence of Ajay, Kajol steals the limelight and has the better role, which gives her ample scope to perform. A performance that is sure to be recognized at the awards! - Bollyspice

Kajol, well, what can you say of an actress who has proved herself time and again? That she’s undoubtedly the best has been proved yet again. - Indiafm

Kajol delivers an excellent performance. She is pretty restrained in her performance when Alzhimer’s takes over her. Any actor of a lesser calibre could have gone over the top. Thanks to Kajol it does not become U Me aur Ham! - Passion for cinema

Kajol is magical,[...] - The times

Get this.Whenever Kajol acts, she kills the competition. Of the current lot, no one quite compares. No one can hold a close-up like she does or leap straight out of the screen to involve you in her pleasure and pain. She’s a natural and that quality is mined constantly by first time director Ajay Devgan in U Me aur Hum. - Khalid Mohammed

I’m stuck. Does it get easier.

No, yes, it does…

Yeah? But look at you.

Thanks. It does, the more you know who you are..the more you know what you want.. you don’t care about things the same way…

I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be. I thought maybe I wanted to be a writer… but I hate what I write, and I tried taking pictures,but John’s so good at that, and mine are so mediocre…

You’ll figure it out. I’m not worried about you. Keep writing

- Lost in translation

• I laughed till stomach hurt in one particular scene where the director explains in many sentences and translator puts it very briefly !

• The movie is about cultural shock but it is not even half as funny as Borat. But, the hero’s face - the totally disinterested face, totally dejected in life face, ironically brings laughter

• Oh yeah..girl is totally pretty…

• Two scenes stand out in the movie ..the one with the above dialogue and the other shooting scene ..

Look into the camera with intensity

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t ’bout how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!”

- Rocky

I am confused how to react to this movie. First of all Kajol rocks as ever, as expected. Coming from me may sound biased and cliched - but the way Kajol manages to increase the average feel-good, average quality and to decrease the average dislike towards a movie, when everything/everybody else look like pulling in opposite direction is beyond explanation. Kesarinalli kamala. And everytime I feel, there is so much that could be extracted from her given a full fledged role of variety,instead her prowess is just in parts here and there. This is not particular to this movie but including previous few movies of hers.

Sidenote: Purely from a fan point of view, Fanaa first half gave greater happiness.

[Spoiler alert]

The movie is intentionally slow. Thankfully it is little beyond a stupid love story. Ajay Devgun’s direction is quite good. Performances, Ajay manages to hold the scenes in those dark moments but otherwise is slightly more than ok [possibly I write him off without even evaluating but can't help], others are barely tolerable.

The story starts old Ajay telling story of a person Ajay who falls in love at first sight with a cruise hostess 25 years ago. He lies and impresses her, but she also falls for his good intent and they marry. If the movie’s intended love story was this part (thankfully it is not), then it does not strike a chord at all. In between two couples’ who are friend of Ajay are shown - one of them is unhappily married and other happily unmarried. Just to fill the lack of substance. (If it was some other lead pair, possibly I would have credited their addition to the story ! )

Once married, Ajay faces a different problem, he realizes Kajol has Alzheimer. How he deals with it, how it affects the child and family is rest of the movie.

I got the clue about memory very initially and felt at the end, he could have just remade “First 50 dates”. Kajol in that role would be a treat (and of course SRK/Salman as hero).

Dialogues are not great.(Except one which I like personally coz I keep talking something on those lines, he he. It is the one where Ajay Devgun confesses that hum bane tum bane is fake and continues how everything is selfish at a point). There are few dialogues which attempt the word play by utilising the different meanings of same word. I was unimpressed though. The adult/sms jokes fall flat.

Songs are ok. Nothing great about picturisation, but the colour or the look of many scenes is good - be it the posh hospital or the interior decoration of the house or the cruise. Loved the Saheli jaise sayyan which is possibly the best part to a Kajol fan. Of course her costumes are pretty good in many places.

In the beginning of the film, Kajol looks quite uneasy and gives a forced expression - I was already cringing if that would continue - thankfully she finds her touch slightly later. Ajay does know the beauty is in those eyes, in those signature expressions and does his best to concentrate on them and put just the face on screen :).Kajol shines in nice scenes anyways, but there are few scenes ( thankful for their presence, but regret they are few in number ) where she gets to scream, to look worried, to look confused, to look in pain , to look lost and thats when the natural actress in her comes out and I can imagine the shooting crew just standing there and watching in awe, and the audience not even daring to wink lest they miss to see it.

If you know me, you would know what I would be doing few hours from now.

Tangentially, few quotes:

“The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn’t.” - Joseph L Mankiewicz

“Even though I make those movies, I find myself wishing that more of those magic moments could happen in real life.” -Jane Seymour